Movie Reviews for October 23, 2015: STEVE JOBS, JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS, THE LAST WITCH HUNTER, and ROCK THE KASBAH

STEVE JOBS
Rated: R
Release Date: October 23, 2015
Director: Danny Boyle
Stars: Michael Fassbender, Kate Winslet, Seth Rogen, Jeff Daniels
Plot: A behind-the-scenes look at the man that was Steve Jobs
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

When I first heard that the concept for this film was to show Steve Jobs behind the scenes of three of his product launches I was nervous that it was going to be quite a boring film. To my relief, this film is anything but boring. In fact, it is very intense and exciting all the way through. 

Fassbender and Winslet have extraordinary chemistry that allows for truly captivating banter between them. Seth Rogen does a great job in his nerdtastic portrayal of Woz. And Jeff Daniels proves once again that he can make a lot out of very little. 

Just by the nature of the film one can easily gather that a lot of the events and conflicts are fictionalized, but even so it is very well done. I wouldn't go so far as to say that the information in the movie is all true to Steve Jobs and the people around him, but I would bet that it is a mostly accurate representation. 

If you like to think while you are being entertained you will really enjoy STEVE JOBS. 

JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS
Rated: PG
Release Date: October 23, 2015
Director: Jon M. Chu
Stars: Aubrey Peeples, Juliette Lewis, Ryan Guzman, Molly Ringwald
Plot: Four sisters hit the big time and must figure out how to stay together in the spotlight while solving a mystery
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and make someone else rent it 

This film may crack my Ten Worst Films of 2015, although we still have two months left for it to be knocked out of that dubious honor. I can't even begin to tell you how cheesy and lame this film is. The dialogue is painful, the lip syncing doesn't match the lyrics, they pretend to play one instrument while we hear something different, and it's almost two hours long. 

Fans of the JATH cartoon will be annoyed because the film strays wildly from the story you know. Ironically, the 1980's TV show is more forward-thinking and pro-woman than the movie, the Misfits aren't in the movie until the very end, and Synergy is totally lame compared to the Synergy of the cartoon. 

Really, the only people that might like this film are girls between 8 and 12. For them it will be a fun film with some positive and empowering messages. For everyone else you'll see those empowering moments as manipulative and forced. 

If you are unlucky enough to have to see this movie you will be treated to about five minutes of awesome. Be on the lookout for some epic cameos, Brad the Valet, and the uber fan security guard. They at least make some of this film tolerable. 

Also, Kimber may be the most unloved and under appreciated girl in the history of movies. You'll, unfortunately, need to see the film to figure out why. 

#KimberNeedsLoveToo

THE LAST WITCH HUNTER

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: October 23, 2015

Director: Breck Eisner

Stars: Vin Diesel, Rose Leslie

Plot: Kaulder is the only thing standing between humans and the witches intent on destroying them\

Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

This is the kind of film where you hope it will be smart and unique, but you go in expecting it to be just another typical action flick with witches. Unfortunately, it lives up only to the expectations and not the hopes. 

The setup for this film give the potential for something special, but ultimately there is nothing about this film that is extraordinary or compelling. It moves slow, the action scenes are muddled and hard to follow, and if you are a HARRY POTTER fan you'll quickly catch on that the Queen Witch is basically Voldemort. (Horcruxes for the almost win).

There are a couple of exciting elements to the film, but nothing that is worth spending the money to see it in theaters. Just wait for the DVD, and when you do finally see it, check your brain at the door. because if you think too much you'll really hate this movie.

ROCK THE KASBAH

Rated: R

Release Date: October 23, 2015

Director: Barry Levinson

Stars: Bill Murray, Kate Hudson, Zooey Deschanel, Bruce Willis

Plot: A music manager finds an unlikely singer in an unlikely place and tries to make her a star

Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

Typically when you hear the name Bill Murray you associate that with comedy. On some level ROCK THE KASBAH is a comedy, but it is so much more than that. 

It isn't a great film by any means, however it is a very good film. It is heartwarming, courageous, inspiring, and compelling. 

If you are looking for a side - splitting laugh fest this is not your movie. But if you want to see a movie that will make you smile and think about life in a different way, ROCK THE KASBAH is a great choice.

DVD Review For April 28, 2015: PADDINGTON, THE WEDDING RINGER, INHERENT VICE, THE BOY NEXT DOOR, THE GAMBLER

PADDINGTON
Rated: PG
Stars: Hugh Bonneville, Sally Hawkins, Nicole Kidman
Plot: A young, lonely bear is discovered at Paddington Station and given a place to stay by the Brown family.
Trailer

Clint Says: Buy this DVD for your elementary school kids

Technically speaking, PADDINGTON is astounding. The level of effects used to bring the bear to life and the mastery of those effects are evident in this film. That being said, the overall movie is okay at best.

The film has some beautiful set design and costumes, but it doesn't make up for the fact that the story is fairly bland and slow-moving. This is a kid's movie through and through so I know they couldn't ramp up the drama and action too much, but a little bit more would have been fine.

I fear that this movie is a bit too complicated for the under 5 audience to grasp and anyone over 10 is going to spend a good portion of the movie bored. But the elementary school crowd will really enjoy PADDINGTON.




THE WEDDING RINGER
Rated: R
Stars: Kevin Hart, Josh Gad, Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting
Plot: A groom in need of a best man turns to a service that offers fake friendships...for a price.
Trailer

Clint Says: Rent this movie this weekend

I was completely shocked as to how much I enjoyed this film. Kevin Hart is really funny, but he has a tendency to wear me out with his humor. However, in this film, Josh Gad balances out Hart perfectly making for a stellar comedy duo.

The story is unique and the hi-jinks will keep you laughing all the way through. And while the guffaws are aplenty, it's also a heartwarming story with enough of a deeper message to make it more than a simple bromance flick, but not so deep that it loses it's comedic edge.

This is a great flick for a night out with the guys, or a fun date. And fans of LOST, be ready to run to the bathroom as soon as the credits roll, because the very last line of the movie is going to make you laugh so hard you'll almost pee your pants.




INHERENT VICE
Rated: R
Stars: Joaquin Phoenix, Katherine Waterston, Josh Brolin
Plot: A Los Angeles P.I. investigates the disappearance of a former girlfriend and her lover.
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for a free stream on Netflix

This is one of those movies where the trailer is way better than the film, and the trailer makes it look like you will be seeing an entirely different movie than you actually end up seeing.

Clocking in at just shy of 2 1/2 hours, INHERENT VICE is a slow-moving, odd, quirky and nearly useless film. While Joaquin Phoenix does an incredible job in his role, I found myself several times trying to figure out why this movie was even made. It's not terribly entertaining, it isn't a ground-breaking piece of cinematic history, and as a mystery movie it is mediocre at best.

If you are interested in seeing this film you'd be much better off just watching the very well done trailer and then spending your money on something else.




THE BOY NEXT DOOR
Rated: R
Stars: Jennifer Lopez, Ryan Guzman, Kristin Chenoweth
Plot: A high school teacher is stalked by one of her new students after a night that shouldn't have happened
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for a free stream on Netflix

This is one of those movies that is about an inch deep, but it's still a fun date movie. There is zero thinking required, the ending is absurdly cliche, and what little mystery there is is elementary at best. That said, there is enough suspense and chills to make it fun.

Jennifer Lopez is exactly what you have seen before in all of her other movies, not bad, not great. Ryan Guzman plays the lovable psycho well, and Kristin Chenoweth is her usual nails-on-the-chalkboard self. Why anyone casts her in anything I will never understand.

I will say that the trailer is somewhat misleading. Yes, she does sleep with one of her students, but he's also almost 20 years old. (I'm not saying what she did is right, I'm simply pointing out that the trailer makes it look like statutory rape, but it isn't.)

It's the kind of movie you'll forget you saw a couple of months from now, but you won't feel like you wasted 90 minutes of your life while watching it.




THE GAMBLER
Rated: R
Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Jessica Lange, John Goodman, Brie Larson
Plot: A university professor with a gambling addiction has one week to pay back a quarter of a million dollars to loan sharks.
Trailer

Clint Says: Don't even bother

THE GAMBLER is full of spectacular acting in a spectacularly bad flick. This is one of those films where I feel like I saw a completely different movie than most of the critics. I've seen many of them raving about this film, but I just don't get it.

When the film begins it dumps us in the middle of the story, which I am fine with and many time enjoy, but THE GAMBLER doesn't give us any flashbacks or back story to fill in the gaps. At no point are we shown why he has the addiction in the first place, nor do we ever see any motivation the main character has to do the things he does.

The romance feels weird and forced, John Goodman is a creeptastic, human version of Jabba The Hutt, and the editor must have been on vacation for most of the editing because there are many scenes that drag on endlessly for no reason.

This movie got so long, boring and annoying that near the end I was hoping the main character would get hit by a bus and the credits would roll. (You'll recognize the scene I'm referring to if you are unlucky enough to have to sit through this mess).

Wahlberg and Lange both give performances that are incredible to watch, unfortunately the story is total crap.

Movie Review For January 23, 2015

THE BOY NEXT DOOR
Rated: R
Stars: Jennifer Lopez, Ryan Guzman, Kristin Chenoweth
Plot: A high school teacher is stalked by one of her new students after a night that shouldn't have happened
Trailer

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

This is one of those movies that is about an inch deep, but it's still a fun date movie. There is zero thinking required, the ending is absurdly cliche, and what little mystery there is is elementary at best. That said, there is enough suspense and chills to make it fun.

Jennifer Lopez is exactly what you have seen before in all of her other movies, not bad, not great. Ryan Guzman plays the lovable psycho well, and Kristin Chenoweth is her usual nails-on-the-chalkboard self. Why anyone casts her in anything I will never understand.

I will say that the trailer is somewhat misleading. Yes, she does sleep with one of her students, but he's also almost 20 years old. (I'm not saying what she did is right, I'm simply pointing out that the trailer makes it look like statutory rape, but it isn't.)

It's the kind of movie you'll forget you saw a couple of months from now, but you won't feel like you wasted 90 minutes of your life while watching it.




MORTDECAI
Rated: R
Stars: Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul Bettany, Ewan McGregor
Plot: A smoke-and-mirrors art dealer helps the British Government to find a stolen painting, but he may have plans of his own
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

MORTDECAI is a quirky film that is an acquired taste, but if you like quirky films (think THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL) you will love this movie. It is stupidly funny, the story is interesting and the cast is incredible.

It took me about 10 minutes to get the right feel and mindset for the film, but once I did I spent the next 90 minutes laughing like a maniac and nearly choking on my popcorn.

Johnny Depp is a master of understated physical comedy and is simply a joy to watch. The rest of the cast orbits around him in a beautifully choreographed way allowing each of them to shine, but also let the story be bigger than all of them.

MORDECAI is a gem.




STRANGE MAGIC
Rated: PG
Stars: Evan Rachel Wood, Elijah Kelly, Kristin Chenoweth
Plot: Creatures from the magical world battle for control of a secret potion
Trailer

Clint Says: Don't even bother

Do you remember that amazing film from a few years ago, GNOMEO AND JULIET? Remember how amazing the story was, how innovative the animation was, and how awesome the music was? Well, STRANGE MAGIC is exactly like GNOMEO AND JULIET, except it is completely horrible.

The animation is truly incredible and beautifully done in this film. Unfortunately, everything else falls flat. The music is weird and forced, the story is too simple and boring, and the things that are supposed to be funny just aren't.

Save yourself the money and the anguish and go get GNOMEO AND JULIET to watch with the family this weekend. You'll be much happier for it.

Movie Review for August 8, 2014

NOTE: I am currently traveling out of the country through August 22. There are several movies being released the next three weeks that I have yet to see and will not get a chance to see them before they are released. If you see any of these films, please feel free to write your own reviews in the comments section. I will do my best to catch up with the reviews when I return.


THE HUNDRED-FOOT JOURNEY
Rated - PG
Stars: Hellen Mirren, Om Puri, Manish Dayal
Plot: Two rival restaurant owners clash when the son of one goes to work for the other.
Trailer

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

This movie is straight up food porn for foodies. If you like slow-motion egg beating montages and people eating ripe, juicy fruits and vegetables as their eyes roll back in their heads, this is the movie for you.

I would be remiss if I didn't try to use as many food analogies as possible while reviewing this film so here we go...

While I did like this movie there were ingredients (1) that were missing making it rather bland to the palate (2). I wish the director had chosen to spice things up (3) a bit with more conflict between the characters
rather than figuratively throwing it in a microwave (4) to resolve it quickly.

The parallel love stories do heat up (5) well as the movie progresses and the story is intriguing. Although this is not a children's movie at all it is clean enough to take any little foodies in your family. In a summer filled with blockbuster action flicks, THE HUNDRED-FOOT JOURNEY is a respectable palate cleanse (6) for everyone.




TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
Rated - PG-13
Stars: Megan Fox, Will Arnett
Plot: The four turtle brothers must work together to bring down the criminal rule of Shredder.
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and let someone else rent it

This is one of this reboots that nobody asked for, but Hollywood made it anyway. The turtles are creepy, the story is tired, Megan Fox still can't act, and the action scenes move and jump so fast it's hard to tell what is going on.

There are several things that happen that are way too coincidental or convenient giving the audience ample opportunities to eye roll.

It's also a film that misses its core audience. The older fans are going to be turned off by the sheer stupidity of the film and it is too intense for the under 8 crowd.

This film is significantly less cheesy than the 1990 version, but it's still not worth seeing.



INTO THE STORM
Rated - PG-13
Stars: Richard Armitage, Sarah Wayne Callies, Matt Walsh
Plot: A massive outbreak of tornadoes has people running for their lives.
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and let someone else rent it

This is nothing more than an overdone, crappy version of TWISTER. The Director starts this film out using the "found footage" technique where all of the video the audience sees is shot by the characters in the movie, but about halfway through the film he starts using interspersed shots from an outside perspective. It felt like there were scenes that they really wanted in the movie, but couldn't figure out a way to have a character shoot it so they took the lazy way out and hoped the audience wouldn't notice.

There is one very compelling scene in the film where you actually feel for the two people that are about to die, but that covers about four minutes of the film. The other 100 minutes is eye-rolling stupidity.

I'm sure the planning meeting for this film included a brain-storming session with the title, "Forget About Plot And Continuity, What Cool Things Can A Tornado Destroy?"

Without giving away anything that the trailer didn't already show us, my favorite eye-rolling scene is when the massive, climactic uber-tornado hits the small-town airport and takes out a half-dozen 747's. Apparently, Silverton, Oklahoma is a major international hub.

The special effects are well done, but that alone is not worth the price of admission.



STEP UP ALL IN
Rated - PG-13
Stars: Ryan Guzman, Briana Evigan
Plot: The best of the best from other Step Up competitions come together to find fame and glory in Las Vegas.
Trailer

Clint Says: I didn't see this one yet

If you see this one, please let people know what you thought in the comments section.