I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Friday, January 31, 2014

Movie Review for January 31, 2014

Rated PG-13
Stars: Kate Winslet, Josh Brolin
Plot: An escaped convict hides in the home of a shut-in mom and her teen son. While the police search for him, he and the mom fall in love.

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

It's easy to see why this movie was released in January. It really has nothing to offer the audience for the first 90 minutes of the movie. Josh Brolin plays a compelling anti-hero, but the script doesn't give him much with which to work. LABOR DAY is full of contrived suspense and the fact that the main characters fall madly into lifelong love over the course of a long weekend makes the This-Feels-Fake Meter move a lot.

If you're looking for a slow-moving, slightly suspenseful love story you may like this movie, but chances are you'll walk out disappointed and wanting a large slice of homemade peach pie.

Rated R
Stars: Zac Efron, Michael B. Jordan, Miles Teller
Plot: Three friends make a pact to stay out of deep relationships until one of them is ready to move forward.

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT is basically one big awkward moment because it's a romantic comedy for guys. It follows the same tried and true formula for RomComs, but is full of raunchy jokes and typical 20-something guy behavior. The movie has a few good laughs and a couple of horrifically awkward moments, but there isn't an audience that is going to like this movie in it's entirety.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Movie Review for January 24, 2014

Rated R
Stars: Aaron Eckhart, Bill Nighy
Plot: 200 years after his creation, Frankenstein's monster finds himself in a battle between demons and gargoyles
Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and let someone else rent it

After seeing the trailer, my first thought was, "this could either be really good or really bad." Unfortunately, it is really bad. And even more unfortunate, they set it up for possible sequels. Bill Nighy is one of my favorite actors and even he couldn't come close to saving this boring, uncompelling, go-through-the-motions, snoozer.

Rated R
Stars: Vanessa Hudgens, Rosario Dawson, Brendan Fraser
Plot: A teen girl grows up between an abusive mom and a neglectful foster care system. When she finds herself pregnant she goes against every one's advise and decides to keep her baby
Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this movie in theaters

This, based on a true story film, is very difficult to watch, but it is amazing and powerful. Hollywood critics are panning this movie, but audiences love it. Hudgens and Dawson both give the best performances of their careers. If this movie weren't so anti-Hollywood in the decisions made by the main character I believe it would have been released in December and been up for several awards.

Movies like this should be supported by all of us. Go watch it today, but just know that it is a tough film with a tough subject matter.

Movie Review for January 17, 2014

Rated PG-13
Stars: Chris Pine, Kevin Costner, Keira Knightley
Plot: A young Jack Ryan is recruited by the CIA be a financial analyst on Wall Street for the purpose of finding terrorist money.
Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see it in theaters

This is one of those January surprise movies. Typically January releases with no press screenings means the movie is going to be horrible. Not so with JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT. This is a great movie. It's fast-paced, suspenseful, and a compelling storyline. Fans of action/suspense movies will enjoy this as will long-time fans of the Tom Clancy novels.

Rated PG-13
Stars: Ice Cube, Kevin Hart
Plot: A diminutive school security guard tries to survive the day on a ride along with his future brother-in-law, a tough Atlanta detective.
Clint Says: Save some money and go to the matinee

Even though this movie is predictable and cliche every step of the way, I still really enjoyed it because it is pee-your-pants funny. If you are looking for a few good laughs without having to think about plot, this is a perfect movie to see.

Rated PG
Stars: Will Arnett, Liam Neeson
Plot: A self-serving, exiled squirrel is forced to help the other park animals raid a business with a stash of nuts that would set them up forever.
Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

I'm not really sure who this movie is supposed to please. It is too boring for adults to sit though and some of the plot is too complicated for little kids to follow along. Most of the laughs come in the form of potty humor or predictable slapstick. I took my four year old daughter and she hated it. She said it was "a boy movie". Maybe if you have an eight year old boy you'll have better luck, but I doubt it. If anything, don't spend the money now, wait until it comes out on DVD then try your luck.

Rated R
Stars: Allison Miller, Zach Gilford
Plot: An expecting newlywed couple begins to expect dark things may have happened the night they can't remember from their honeymoon.
Clint Says: Don't even bother

This movie is a complete waste of time. If you want to see the best thing this movie had to offer, watch this video of the devil baby prank they did to market this film.

Movie Review for January 10, 2014

Rated R
Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Taylor Kitsch
Plot: A small group of Navy SEALs have their mission compromised and find themselves surrounded by hundreds of Taliban supporters.
Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this now

LONE SURVIVOR, based on the true story of Operation Red Wings, is very difficult to watch, but it worth every minute of your time. Wahlberg and the rest of the cast do an exemplary job of portraying the impossibility of their situation without straying from their military training. The tribute to the real heroes of Operation Red Wings at the end of the movie is worth the price of admission itself. If you liked ZERO DARK THIRTY you will love LONE SURVIVOR.

Rated PG-13
Stars: Kellan Lutz, Gaia Weiss
Plot: The story of the birth, rejection and rise to power of the demi-god Hercules.
Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and let someone else rent it

Can somebody please make a great movie of the story Hercules? This movie misses the mark in every way possible. First off, he's a demi-god with super-human powers and he only uses them twice. What!? Second, there are plot holes you could drive a truck through. Third, the graphics (which most of this movie is done in CGI) look like they were done in 1998. Fourth, the 3D version uses gimmicky 3D tricks to make the movie look more intense, but audiences are over that now. Finally, I thought that dialogue was important to a movie, I guess the execs on this film disagree with me.

The only audience that will find this movie enjoyable are males between 17 and 22. Everyone else shouldn't bother.

Rated R
Stars: Joaquin Phoenix, Scarlett Johansson, Amy Adams
Plot: A loner falls in love with his computer's artificial intelligence operating system.
Clint Says: Save some money and go see a matinee

When I first heard about the premise of HER I thought, "that sounds creepy and weird." Then I went to see it and thought, "that was creepy and weird." Don't get me wrong, the movie is well done and very well acted, especially by Joaquin Phoenix, but it's still creepy and weird. It's played out in a not-too-distant future and is set up in a way that makes it seem like it is something that could actually happen. That's probably why it came across as creepy and weird.

There are people that will love every aspect of this film and others will be offended by the very premise. My recommendation, go see this movie based on your level of comfort with the plot.

Rated R
Stars: Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts
Plot: The Weston women return home with all of their dysfunctional baggage in tow.
Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

This movie is best summed up this way: An incredible cast overacting a mediocre script allowing for a slightly above average film.

Rated R
Stars: Oscar Isaac, Carey Mulligan
Plot: A folk singer tries to hit the big time, but his life keeps pulling him down.
Clint Says: Don't even bother

This is easily one of the worst films I have ever seen. I know a lot of Hollywood types think this film is brilliant, but they are the same people that are convinced the Coen brothers fart unicorns on glitter rainbows. This movie starts about 5 chapters too late and ends 5 chapters too soon. Even so, I don't know if that would have saved this plodding, obnoxious borefest.

Movie Review for January 3, 2014

Rated - R
Stars: Andrew Jacobs, Jorge Diaz, Gabrielle Walsh
Plot: After Jesse's odd neighbor dies he wakes with a strange mark and eventually becomes possessed while his friend try to stop the transformation.
Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and let someone else rent it

I will happily admit that I am the worst person in the world with which to see a horror flick. I laugh all the way through them, because I find them so stupid and juvenile. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE MARKED ONES was no different. This found-footage franchise should have stopped after the first film. Every film since has gotten progressively worse and this one was just plain horrible. It's predictable, slow and for fans of the franchise, the ending will annoy you.

Instead of wasting your money going to the theater, just rent the original PARANORMAL ACTIVITY and get a good scare.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

My Top 10 Movies of 2013

2013 had it's fair share of Hollywood blockbusters, flops and incredible movies that very few people saw.

I see a lot of movies every year, so for a movie to make it into my top 10 it has to be special. It needs to make me feel something, it needs to make me think about scenes from the movie days after I've seen it, and it needs to be accessible to the average movie goer.

I hate those top 10 movie lists of 10 movies you've never heard of much less had a chance of ever seeing. Besides, I thinks that most of those lists are self-serving pieces made to make the author feel cinematically superior to his or her readers. That, to me, is a complete waste of time.

Below are my top 10 movies of 2013. I'm sure my list is not the same as yours, and that's great! I'd love to see your list. Just leave it in the comments section.

10. ABOUT TIME - Rated R
      Stars: Domhnall Gleeson, Rachel McAdams, and Bill Nighy
      Plot: A man discovers he can travel through time and uses his gift to find the girl of his dreams.
      Trailer: ABOUT TIME
      Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

ABOUT TIME has a great cast, a compelling plot and interesting twists and turns that make you think about what you would do if you were given the ability to travel through time.

9. GRAVITY - Rated PG-13
    Stars: Sandra Bullock, George Clooney
    Plot: A scientist turned astronaut must find a way back to earth after her spaceship and crew are destroyed by space debris.
    Trailer: GRAVITY
    Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters


GRAVITY would have been higher on my list if it had more compelling dialogue and a slightly deeper plot. What it lacks in plot and dialogue it makes up with stunning visuals and edge-of-your-seat action.

8. IRON MAN 3 - Rated PG-13
    Stars: Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Guy Pearce
    Plot: Tony Stark's ingenuity that led him to create Iron Man now must help him take down the Mandarin, a foe that has stripped Tony of all that is important to him.
    Trailer: IRON MAN 3
    Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

IRON MAN 3 is the best IRON MAN yet. The thing that makes this movie so good is that Tony Stark isn't able to succeed as Iron Man, he must rely on his brains and his humanity to save all that is dear to him.

    Stars: Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Jeremy Renner
    Plot: A small-time con team are forced to work with the FBI to bring down high-ranking politicians.
    Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

The ensemble cast of AMERICAN HUSTLE takes an already well-developed story and makes this movie worthy of all the awards it has received so far and the multiple Oscars it will undoubtedly win.

6. FROZEN - Rated PG
    Stars: Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel
    Plot: A princess with uncontrollable magical powers turns her town into a frozen wasteland, forcing her younger sister and a team of misfits to track her down and save the town.
    Trailer: FROZEN
    Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

FROZEN reminded me of BEAUTY AND THE BEAST in that as I watched it I felt like I was watching the next level in animation technology. That combined with a beautiful story and a wonderful soundtrack makes this a movie that will play in minivan DVD players for years.

    Stars: Tom Hanks, Barkhad Abdi
    Plot: Somali pirates hijack the Maersk Alabama forcing the captain and crew on a terrifying journey.
    Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now

Despite the controversy over whether this movie follows the actual truth, this is an incredible movie. It is compelling, dramatic and fast-paced. Tom Hanks should have been nominated for an Academy Award for his performance.
4. MUD - Rated PG-13
    Stars: Matthew McConaughey, Tye Sherridan, Jacob Lofland
    Plot: A fugitive enlists the help of two young boys to find his girlfriend and escape the law.
    Trailer: MUD
    Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now

It seems like there are always a couple of movies every year that are released too early for Hollywood to remember them when award season finally rolls around. MUD is one of those movies. It's intense, caring, and McConaughey gives an Oscar-worthy performance. (At least he'll get one for DALLAS BUYERS CLUB).
    Stars: Benn Stiller, Kristen Wiig
    Plot: A daydreaming homebody goes on the adventure of a lifetime when he loses a photo his company needs.
    Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now
I really wanted this movie to be good. I walked into the theater with expectations that were unfairly high. Surprisingly, this movie surpassed my expectations. This is a joyous, exciting and feel-good movie from start to finish.
2. THE WAY WAY BACK - Rated PG-13
    Stars: Steve Carell, Toni Collette, Sam Rockwell
    Plot: A teen boy is forced to spend the summer with his mom and her boyfriend. He finds purpose and a mentor at a waterpark job.
    Trailer: THE WAY WAY BACK
    Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now

This is another movie that was release too early to be remembered at awards time. Sam Rockwell's performance is outstanding and Steve Carell plays a character that you will love to hate from the first second he opens his mouth. If you haven't seen this movie, find the DVD and watch it as soon as possible. You won't be disappointed.
1. SAVING MR. BANKS - Rated PG-13
    Stars: Emma Thompson, Tom Hanks, Colin Farrell
    Plot: The story of Walt Disney trying to buy the film rights of Mary Poppins from P.L. Travers
    Trailer: SAVING MR. BANKS
    Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now
I know a lot of people did not like the "Disneyfication" of this story, but when it's all said and done, it's a movie, not true life. The on-screen story is fantastic and the flashbacks are heartwarming then heartbreaking. Even though I see about 100 movies a year this one stuck with me days after I saw it. Any movie that can do that deserves high praise.