I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Movie Reviews For September 25, 2015: HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 2, THE INTERN, and THE GREEN INFERNO

Rated: PG
Release Date: September 25, 2015
Director: Genndy Tartakovsky
Stars: Adam Sandler, Selena Gomez, Andy Samberg
Plot: Dracula is intent on keeping his family at the hotel by teaching his half-human grandson how to be a monster

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

This is one of the rare franchises where the second film is as good, possibly even better than the first. The story is quite similar, but the jokes are fresh and it is compelling for both adults and children.

I took my five year old daughter and she loved it. There were many moments where she was laughing out loud, and very few moments where she was fidgeting in her chair. I was interested in the film all the way through as well. I found it funny and endearing.

There are a couple of scenes that may be a bit much for the younger kids so beware of that going into it. Aside from that, this is a great movie for a whole family outing.

Rated: PG-13
Release Date: September 25, 2015
Director: Nancy Meyers
Stars: Robert De Niro, Anne Hathaway, Rene Russo
Plot: A retired widower takes an internship at a successful internet start-up and brings some of his old school wisdom to the tech age.

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

I was shocked at how much I liked this film. It was significantly funnier than I thought it would be, and there were very few cliche Hollywood moments. In fact, it was so funny that we missed a good dozen lines because we were all laughing so hard.

Anne Hathaway and Robert De Niro have a wonderful chemistry that will warm your heart. It's also nice to see De Niro playing a role that goes against his type. I can't recall the last time I saw him acting awkward or having a lack of confidence in a movie.

This film will give you an emotional roller coaster ride. As I said, it is hysterically funny, but it is also sad, heartwarming and triumphant. Bring tissues to wipe the tears out of your eyes as you cry and the snot off of your nose when you snort laugh.

This may be one of the best comedies of the year.

Rated: R
Release Date: September 25, 2015
Director: Eli Roth
Stars: Lorenza Izzo, Ariel Levy, Aaron Burns
Plot: A group of environmentalists on a mission to help save the rain forests are captured by Amazonian cannibals.

Clint Says: Don't even bother

Oh, what could have been. This film had all of the opportunity in the world to be a spectacularly scary horror flick. Instead, it is a spectacular fail.

The actin is atrocious, the plot it ridiculous, it's way too long, it's not even remotely scary, it's full of massive plot holes and moments of convenience, and the audience is given no real reason to care about any of the characters.

This movie is extremely violent and gory, but most of that looks completely fake. And some of the violence doesn't even make sense.

The only thing even remotely decent about this flick is that it has a few moments that are somewhat suspenseful, but even those moments aren't really scary.

We've almost made it to October, save your money for a horror flick that is actually worth seeing.

Thursday, September 17, 2015


Rated: R
Director: Scott Cooper
Stars: Johnny Depp, Joel Edgerton, Benedict Cumberbatch, Dakota Johnson
Plot: James "Whitey" Bulger rises to power by destroying the competition with a secret alliance with the FBI.

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

Johnny Depp does it again with a performance where he completely disappears and all you see on screen is Whitey Bulger. He is creepy, brutal and powerful all at once. And while I don't think thins film is quite award-worthy, there are a couple of scenes where Depp show why he is one of the elite actors in Hollywood.

This film is quite a bit slower than your average mafia flick, but that doesn't mean it is any less intense or violent. I found myself nearly 100% engaged for almost the entire 2 hours.

The only real downside to this film, and I can't believe I'm having to say this, is the weak performance by Benedict Cumberbatch. His role is one that could have been played by just about anyone so why they chose him one will never know. His accent, which is supposed to be South Boston, is all over the place and really quite annoying.

All in all, this is a great film worth the price of admission.

Rated: PG-13
Director: Jerry Jameson
Stars: David Oyelowo, Kate Mara
Plot: The true story of a woman taken hostage by a murderer and how she was able to finally get away.

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

You will hear many people refer to CAPTIVE as a "Christian movie" over the next few days, but really it is a true story that happens to have a couple of Christian elements in it. This film doesn't get bogged down in Christian-speak or things of that nature.

In a film where you have the majority of the story happening solely between a kidnapper and his hostage the acting needs to be incredible to pull it off and not seem cheesy or boring. Oyelowo and Mara do a great job of keeping the audience engaged throughout.

While it isn't the most exciting film out this weekend it still is worth seeing if you have the opportunity.

Rated: PG-13
Director: Baltasar Kormakur
Stars: Jason Clarke, Josh Brolin, Jake Gyllenhaal, Keira Knightley
Plot: The true story of a group of climbers that get trapped on Mount Everest in a bad storm

Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now

This is a theater movie. By that, I mean this is a film that should be seen in a theater. And not only in a theater, but in the biggest one possible.

I saw this movie in IMAX 3D and there were several occasions where I felt a knot in my stomach because I thought we were going to fall off the mountain.The effects and cinematography are spectacular.

I must say that this movie takes a while to get going and once it does get up to speed it gets pretty brutal, but it is all worth it in the end.

EVEREST is a movie that I highly recommend spending your money to see it in the biggest and best way possible.

Rated: PG-13
Director: Wes Ball
Stars: Dylan O'Brien, Kaya Scodelario, Giancarlo Esposito, Aidan Gillen
Plot: The Gladers face new obstacles and foes as they find themselves almost back where they started.

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

The second installment of the MAZE RUNNER franchise is action-packed, intense, suspenseful, creepy and better than the first one.

If you haven't seen the first one don't bother with this film, you will be lost. If you have see the first one, make an appointment to see this film as soon as possible. You will enjoy it.

Fans of the book series will also be pleased because the movie sticks fairly close to the book.

If you are looking for a suspenseful action flick with fast-moving zombies then I would suggest this film for your weekend viewing pleasure.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

DVD Review For September 15, 2015: FURIOUS 7, CINDERELLA, and MONKEY KINGDON

Rated: PG-13
Stars: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jason Statham, Kurt Russell
Plot: Dom and his team must recover a high-tech surveillance program in order to go after the guy that's trying to take them down

Clint Says: Grab some popcorn, check your brain at the door and buy this DVD today

This film is ridiculous, stupid, over the top and COMPLETELY AWESOME!

Look, you know what you are getting into with this flick. It's fast cars, hot people, epic fighting and not much else. That said, the reason anyone goes to see these movies is for the fast cars, hot people and epic fighting.

This franchise really hit its stride with 6 and now 7 keeps that momentum going. It's a fun, exciting popcorn flick that will have you holding your breath and then driving too fast when you leave the theater.

For a movie about fast cars, it does take a while before it gets going. The first 20 minutes or so are pretty slow, but once the action kicks in it's a non-stop street race to the credits. There are several moments where the action is eye-rollingly ridiculous, but in this style of movie that is perfectly fine, and as far as I'm concerned, encouraged.

Paul Walker fans are going to be very pleased with the film. I'm not sure how much of the movie is actually him and how much is his brother filling in, but there wasn't a single second when I could tell that is wasn't him. The "face-replacing" technology that we first saw in the latest TRON film with Jeff Bridges was amazing, but still looked a bit odd. It was used in this film to put Paul's face on his brother's body for certain scenes, but now, it is seamless.

The last five minutes of the film are a tribute to Walker. It is a wonderful tribute, but it barely has anything to do with the rest of the movie. It's almost as if the Director said, "Plot? We don't need to worry about plot! This is Paul Walker!" But, even though the tribute doesn't fit it at all with the rest of the film, fans of the franchise will probably have a tough time keeping from shedding a tear.

A note to my Nashville area readers: Be on the lookout for the reporter about 10 minutes into the movie. She is our very own Stephanie Langston from News Channel 2!

Rated: PG
Stars: Lily James, Richard Madden, Cate Blanchett
Plot: A beautiful girl grows up as the servant to her wicked step-mother, but she finds love with the Prince.

Clint Says: Buy this DVD if you have Disney fans in your house

If you have a tween or younger girl in your house you simply must take them to see this movie. They will LOVE it. CINDERELLA is a beautifully told tale that doesn't feel like a rehash of the dozens of other movies by the same name that have popped up through the decades.

One nice aspect about this new Cinderella is that she is much more than just a pretty, nice girl that can only escape her pitiful situation by finding the love of a man. In fact, the first time she meets the prince the outcome is quite unexpected.

Cate Blanchett does a stellar job as the wicked stepmother, and even though we are still very early in the year, we may see her get some award nominations as 2015 comes to a close. The step sisters are riotously funny and Helena Bonham Carter is perfect as The Fairy Godmother.

My only issue with this film is that the first half hour is really sad and slow. After that the story picks up and we are all on a ride into a wonderful ever after.

By the way, it's worth the price of admission just to see the Disney animated short FROZEN FEVER that plays prior to the film. It's seven minutes of pee-your-pants funny.

Rated: G
Stars: Tina Fey
Plot: The story of a young monkey and mother trying to survive in ancient ruins in South Asia

Clint Says: It's worth a rental

These DisneyNature films are always very well done and interesting and MONKEY KINGDOM is no exception, but like the others, there isn't anything in the movie that makes it so compelling that you have to see it in theaters. You will get the same effect and joy by watching this in your own living room four months from now that you would get by seeing it this weekend.

Really, the only reason to see it in theaters is because part of the ticket sales go to helping the monkeys survive. But if that is really something that concerns you, then just donate the full price of a ticket and then wait for the DVD.

As with most DisneyNature films, make sure you stick around through the credits. they show the camera crews working closely with the animals. To me it is the most intriguing part of the whole movie.

This film is safe and enjoyable for the whole family, so if you are looking for an outing this would be a good choice. Just don't expect your kids to walk out of it like they had just seen FROZEN.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Movie Review For September 11, 2015: THE VISIT, 90 MINUTES IN HEAVEN, and THE PERFECT GUY

I have a new, interactive website full of movie reviews and other fun movie things. Eventually I will stop posting here. The new site is www.clintsmoviereviews.com. I'd love it if you took some time to go check it out.

Rated: PG-13
Release Date: September 11, 2015
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Stars: Olivia DeJonge, Ed Oxenbould, Deanna Dunagan, Peter McRobbie
Plot: Siblings go to their estranged grandparents house for a week. While they try to patch things up, strange happenings start to occur.

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

It's been 16 long years since M. Night Shyamalan gave us THE SIXTH SENSE. Since then he's done a lot, but nothing spectacular, and a few downright stinkers. THE VISIT is a return to his glory days.

This is a great horror film. It's not a scary, slasher flick, but rather a true, classic-style horror film that will terrify you. The audience I saw this movie with were jumping and screaming and fidgeting in their seats almost the entire film.

I almost want to call this a "found footage" film, but it really isn't. It's shot by the characters, but it's done in documentary style. This is nice because we, the audience, don't have to deal with a lot of shaky camera or poor framing.

Ed Oxenbould, (ALEXANDER AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY), completely steals the show. He is riotously funny throughout the film, and gives a stellar performance on top of that.

In my time I've seen a lot of horror flicks and one thing has always been true. The scarier the movie the more people will go to the bathroom. This film had a steady stream of people heading out to take a potty break and a breather from the intensity.

If you like scary movies, you will love THE VISIT.

Rated: PG-13
Release Date: September 11, 2015
Director: Michael Polish
Stars: Hayden Christensen, Kate Bosworth
Plot: A man is declared dead, but 90 minutes later is revived. He then begins to tell people he was in Heaven.

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

This is one of those films that really disappoints me. It is a film based on a true story that is incredible, but somewhere between reality and the big screen everything gets watered down, sanitized and boring.

The film moves dreadfully slow and there are several important moments that resolve in such a non-dramatic way that it makes you wonder why they even put that stuff in the film in the first place.

For the most part the actors do a fine job, but they have so little to work with that we hardly ever get to see them using their skills.

I don't usually like to compare films to one another, but WAR ROOM is significantly better than this film in all aspects.

If you are a Christian I think that this film will inspire you on some level, but you might need to pray for the energy to stay awake until the end credits.

Rated: PG-13
Release Date: September 11, 2015
Director: David M. Rosenthal
Stars: Sanaa Lathan, Michael Ealy, Morris Chestnut
Plot: A woman meets a man that seems too good to be true while her ex-boyfriend is still in the picture.

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

Okay, we need to get two things out of the way before I can give my review of this film. First, can the movie poster for this film be any more sexist? The female lead in this film wears nothing in the movie like what she has on in the poster, Come on movie people, you can do better than this. Second, I have a huge man-crush on Michael Ealy. That is one pretty human.

Now on to the review.

For the most part, I enjoyed this movie. It was predictable and cliche almost all the way through the film (with one notable and refreshing exception), but it was still entertaining. The suspense is thick enough to keep you engaged, but it's not so suspenseful that it doesn't seem real.

Michael Ealy does a great job of switching between the perfect guy and a creepy sociopath, and the other characters play well against him.

Honestly, I will probably forget about this movie in a few weeks, because there really isn't much in it that is worthy of sticking with you, but if you are looking for a good, suspenseful thriller THE PERFECT GUY will satisfy.

Monday, September 7, 2015

DVD Review For September 8, 2015: THE AGE OF ADALINE

Rated: PG-13
Stars: Blake Lively, Harrison Ford, Michiel Huisman
Plot: An accident causes a woman to stop aging and the effects of her condition make living a normal life impossible.

Clint Says: Rent this if you have some extra time

I am not a fan of films where implausible things happen. I'm fine with the impossible, because it's fiction. A woman that ends up not being able to age is an intriguing theme. I'm happy to suspend disbelief and enjoy the show in a case like that. Where I draw the line is when, and I'm not spoiling anything here that's not already in the trailer, said woman dates a man then decades later ends up running into that man because she is dating his son. The implausibility is cringe-worthy.

Aside from that the story is actually compelling and a nice love story. Blake Lively is wonderful in her role as Adaline, although her overly-proper speech pattern is somewhat distracting. It fits that her character being several decades older than she looks would talk like that, but it's tough to make one's brain reconcile the two.

This movie also has a very "sciencey" narrator that is endearing, annoying and unintentionally hilarious at once. In the screening I attended the audience laughed nearly every time he opened his mouth.

The film feels long even though it's not quite two hours long. It's fairly slow and at some times even boring, but there is enough that is compelling about it to bring you back into the story once it picks up again.

THE AGE OF ADALINE will give you plenty of eye-rolling moments, but it will also give you happy feels as well. If you like love stories with a twist, you'll most-likely like this film.

Thursday, September 3, 2015


BIG NEWS!!!!! I have a brand new, interactive movie review website that allows you to review the films you've seen and comment on other reviews. Plus it has some other cool features as well.

I'm going to keep this blog going for a while, but eventually everything will lead to the new site.

You can check it out at clintsmoviereviews.com. I'd love it if you take the time to register (it's free) and do your own reviews.

Thank you!


Rated: PG-13
Director: Camille Delamarre
Stars: Ed Skrein, Ray Stevenson, Loan Chabanol, Radivoje Bukvic
Plot: The Transporter finds himself in a twisted mess when his father gets kidnapped

Clint Says: See it in theaters if you liked the other Transporter films

Yes, the rumors are true. Ed Skrein is, in fact, not Jason Statham. But this is still a good TRANSPORTER flick. Skrein does a fine job in the role and keeps the franchise moving forward. 

If you've seen any of these films you know that it's fairly important to check your brain at the door. The whole point of these films is to showcase incredible driving with spectacular crashes, big fights, gorgeous women, and a twisty turny plot that is complicated enough to keep the audience engaged. 

If you are going to see this in theaters, I highly recommend seeing it on one of the extra large screens with the best sound system available. It will add to the fun of the film. 

This of you that are wary about seeing this film because it isn't Jason Statham should rest easy. It is still a film worth seeing.

Rated: R
Director: Ken Kwapis
Stars: Robert Redford, Nick Nolte, Emma Thompson, Mary Steenburgen
Plot: Two aging buddies decide to hike the entire Appalachian Trail

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

This is one of those movies that is just sort of there. It's not bad, it's not great. It's mildly humorous with a couple of laugh out loud moments. It's not deep or as soul-searching as one might expect a "journey" film to be, nor is it a light and fluffy comedy. 

Redford and Nolte are okay in this movie, but nothing anywhere near award-worthy. They are really nothing more than a couple of guys that I found myself neither rooting for or against. They were just there. 

There isn't anything in this film that makes it worth seeing on the big screen. The character development could have been much better, and the following of their journey is all but superficial. Plus, this film is only rated R because of language. They could have easily cut the language and made this a PG or PG-13 film to make it more accessible to the audience. 

It'll make for an okay Netflix night a few months from now, but you'll forget this film soon after. 

Rated: R
Director: Noah Baumbach
Stars: Greta Gerwig, Lola Kirke
Plot: A college girl in NYC meets up with her 30 year old, soon to be sister by marriage and they try to figure out life together

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and make someone else rent it

This is easily one of the most annoying films I've seen this year. It's just one more in a long line of films that takes aim at the free spirit of Millennials and makes them look like a generation of slackers and losers. 

It also has this really strange 80's movie vibe, except the super-annoying girl is friends with the socially awkward girl and they plot and scheme together. All it needed was a jock and a stoner, (actually, the stoner shows up about half way through the movie), and it could have been the worst John Hughes film ever made. 

The acting is obnoxious, the plot is useless, and the takeaway is simply, "I want my money back."