I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Monday, August 18, 2014

DVD Review for August 19, 2014

THE QUIET ONES
PG-13
Stars: Jared Harris, Sam Claflin, Erin Richards
Plot: A professor and his students perform experiments on a strange woman and the results are supernatural.

Trailer

Clint Says: If you have to see it let someone else rent it


While the premise for THE QUIET ONES is interesting, the movie is lacking. This film comes from Hammer Films, the makers of THE WOMAN IN BLACK and LET ME IN, both well done horror flicks, but it seems that the film makers may be resting on their past successes with this movie.

If you want to see a good horror flick in theaters this weekend, go rent OCULUS instead.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Movie Review For August 15, 2014

NOTE: I am currently traveling out of the country through August 22. There are several movies being released the next two weeks that I have yet to see and will not get a chance to see them before they are released. If you see any of these films, please feel free to write your own reviews in the comments section. I will do my best to catch up with the reviews when I return.

THE GIVER
Rated - PG-13
Stars: Brenton Thwaites, Jeff Bridges, Odeya Rush
Plot: In a seemingly utopian society, a boy begins to learn the truth that they are all being manipulated by the government, and must figure out a way to stop them.
Trailer

Clint says: Save some money and see a matinee


This is one of those films that will mean a lot more to some people than to others. For those that read THE GIVER and understand the importance of that book in helping to create and shape the Young Adult genre this will be a film of great importance. For your average movie-goer, this film will probably be a little slow with a mediocre payoff.

The world-building is unique and interesting and there is enough suspense to keep you engaged throughout the film, but it isn't as exciting or fast-paced as DIVERGENT or THE HUNGER GAMES.



THE EXPENDABLES 3
Rated - PG-13
Stars: Just about every action hero in Hollywood
Plot: The Expendables team comes up against a new foe in an old friend and must work together to stay alive.
Trailer

Clint Says: I didn't see this yet, but it doesn't matter...it's going to be AWESOME!


Here's the deal with this franchise, just think SHARKNADO only with a huge budget and A-List actors. These films are so ridiculously over-the-top that they are among the most entertaining films ever. They aren't meant to be thought-provoking or important movies. They are meant to poke fun at the action genre in a non-parody way that satisfies completely.

Grab a big bucket of popcorn, get a bunch of friends and go have a great time with this movie.



LET'S BE COPS
Rated - R
Stars: Damon Wayans, Jake Johnson
Plot: Two buddies dress up like cops for a party, but when people start taking them seriously they keep the charade going.
Trailer

Clint Says: I didn't get to see this movie yet


If you see this movie please post your review in the comments section for others to enjoy.

Monday, August 11, 2014

DVD Review for August 12, 2014

BEARS
Rated - G
Stars: John C. Reilly
Plot: Cameras follow a family of Alaskan bears as the young learn how to survive.
Trailer

Clint Says: Rent this one and enjoy with the whole family


Disney Nature brings their A-game once again with BEARS. It is a fun and encouraging story with incredible cinematography. John C. Reilly does a great job narrating this film. He has a great ability to add to the mood of the moment with his voice.

The true stars of this film are the camera crews that obviously worked long hours to catch hundreds of hours of footage in order for the rest of the crew to put together a compelling story. Make sure you stick around through the credits to see some of the camera crews in action.




NEIGHBORS
Rated - R
Stars: Zac Efron, Seth Rogen, Rose Byrne
Plot: A fraternity moves in next door to a married couple with a young child. Soon their lifestyles clash in an epic battle of wills.
Trailer

Clint Says: Buy this DVD, but keep it out of the reach of the kids


NEIGHBORS is seriously funny. It is also seriously raunchy. It is also a great movie. If you can handle the raunch you will be entertained the entire time and you will laugh more in two hours than you've laughed in the last month.

Rogen and Byrne's chemistry is fun to watch and their dialogue is hysterical. Efron plays a perfect frat boy and, if a shirtless Zac is your thing, you won't be disappointed.

It's nice to see Rogen and Efron sticking to their roots, but still growing with the kind of characters we've grown to love and expect out of them.




A HAUNTED HOUSE 2
Rated - R
Stars: Marlon Wayans, Jaime Pressly
Plot: Malcolm has finally moved on from his possessed ex, but strange things start happening when his new girlfriend and her kids move in.
Trailer

Clint Says: Don't even bother


If you saw the first one, you've already seen this film. And believe it or not, this flick is actually worse than the first one.

It's full of the same sex and racial jokes that are slightly funny at best, but most of the time they are just tired. Spend your money on something better than this junk.




MUPPETS MOST WANTED
Rated - PG
Stars: Ricky Gervais, Ty Burrell, Tina Fey
Plot: During a world tour Kermit and the gang get mixed up in a jewelry heist orchestrated by a Kermit look alike.
Trailer

Clint Says: It's worth a rental...once



MUPPETS MOST WANTED is exactly what you expect from a Muppet movie. Not much of a plot, not overly funny, but a lot of good music, good cameos by several of Hollywood’s hottest stars, and enough humor to make the movie enjoyable for kids and tolerable for adults.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Movie Review for August 8, 2014

NOTE: I am currently traveling out of the country through August 22. There are several movies being released the next three weeks that I have yet to see and will not get a chance to see them before they are released. If you see any of these films, please feel free to write your own reviews in the comments section. I will do my best to catch up with the reviews when I return.


THE HUNDRED-FOOT JOURNEY
Rated - PG
Stars: Hellen Mirren, Om Puri, Manish Dayal
Plot: Two rival restaurant owners clash when the son of one goes to work for the other.
Trailer

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee


This movie is straight up food porn for foodies. If you like slow-motion egg beating montages and people eating ripe, juicy fruits and vegetables as their eyes roll back in their heads, this is the movie for you.

I would be remiss if I didn't try to use as many food analogies as possible while reviewing this film so here we go...

While I did like this movie there were ingredients (1) that were missing making it rather bland to the palate (2). I wish the director had chosen to spice things up (3) a bit with more conflict between the characters
rather than figuratively throwing it in a microwave (4) to resolve it quickly.

The parallel love stories do heat up (5) well as the movie progresses and the story is intriguing. Although this is not a children's movie at all it is clean enough to take any little foodies in your family. In a summer filled with blockbuster action flicks, THE HUNDRED-FOOT JOURNEY is a respectable palate cleanse (6) for everyone.




TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
Rated - PG-13
Stars: Megan Fox, Will Arnett
Plot: The four turtle brothers must work together to bring down the criminal rule of Shredder.
Trailer

Clint Says: I didn't see this one yet


If you see this one, please let people know what you thought in the comments section.



INTO THE STORM
Rated - PG-13
Stars: Richard Armitage, Sarah Wayne Callies, Matt Walsh
Plot: A massive outbreak of tornadoes has people running for their lives.
Trailer

Clint Says: I didn't see this one yet


If you see this one, please let people know what you thought in the comments section.



STEP UP ALL IN
Rated - PG-13
Stars: Ryan Guzman, Briana Evigan
Plot: The best of the best from other Step Up competitions come together to find fame and glory in Las Vegas.
Trailer

Clint Says: I didn't see this one yet


If you see this one, please let people know what you thought in the comments section.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

DVD Review for August 5, 2014

DIVERGENT
Rated - PG-13
Stars: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Cate Winslet
Plot: Post-war Chicago's inhabitants are divided into five groups, each assigned with a specific task to help the others. Tris, a Divergent that doesn't fit into the system, finds herself on the run from a sinister government that wants all Divergents dead.
Trailer

Clint Says: Buy this DVD



DIVERGENT is a perfect example of a good book being made into a very good movie. I would put it on par with THE HUNGER GAMES and significantly better than THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES. It has great moments of suspense and intensity, the world building is top notch, and Tris's arc is played out very well.

If I had to say anything bad about the movie it's that Peter, Will and Al look so similar, if you didn't read the book you may have trouble telling them apart. Also, there are a couple of plot holes that will drive detail-oriented viewers crazy.

Fans of the book will really enjoy the movie as will fans of the dystopian young adult genre. Adults should not skip this movie thinking it's just another teen movie, it is definitely worth a watch.

FUN FACT: Be on the lookout for a Veronica Roth cameo. She shows up as a Dauntless.



NEED FOR SPEED
Rated - PG-13
Stars: Aaron Paul, Dominic Cooper, Imogen Poots
Plot: A small town racer gets himself into the biggest underground, illegal street race of the year to avenge the death of his friend and take down his rival.
Trailer

Clint Says: A very good rental


I was pleasantly surprised by NEED FOR SPEED. As far as car movies go, (and they are almost always horrible), this one was one of the best. Aaron Paul does a great job, Jesse Pinkman fans will not be disappointed.
 
Incredibly, according to Aaron Paul, this movie is 100% camera caught, meaning no CGI or green screen technology was used. If that is the case, kudos to the director because some of the racing scenes are almost too amazing to believe.
 
One warning on this movie: Watch your speed after seeing it. You'll want to tear up the asphalt like never before.




OCULUS
Rated - R
Stars: Karen Gillan, Brenton Thwaites
Plot: A woman tries to overturn her brother's murder conviction by claiming a possessed mirror creates evil twins.
Trailer


Clint Says: Rent this if you can handle the scary


I was pleasantly surprised that this was a horror movie that was actually scary. It does do the usual scare tactics that most horror films use, but this film has an interesting plot and a cast that is able to carry it off in a way that isn't cheesy.

This is a great popcorn flick that will have you avoiding mirrors for a while.



GOD'S NOT DEAD
Rated - PG
Stars: Kevin Sorbo, Shane Harper
Plot: A philosophy student challenges his professor's way of thinking about God.

Clint Says: Rent it, it will challenge you


This is the little movie that could. When it was released in theaters it had a very small marketing budget, but word of mouth quickly spread that this was a movie worth seeing. In fact, it was in the top 10 weekly grossing films for several weeks in a row. 

Critics hated this film and fans loved it. That tells me one thing, it's worth a watch. It's not the greatest movie ever made, but the content will challenge you, and it's isn't so cheesy that you'll be pulled out of the story.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Movie Review for August 1, 2014

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY
Rated - PG-13
Stars: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Bradley Cooper
Plot: A misfit group is forced together and must use their skills to try to save the galaxy from a madman.
Trailer

Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now


Wow. Just. Wow.

Marvel has outdone themselves with GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.

This could very well be the best movie of the summer and possibly one of the top ten movies of the year. It is gut-bustingly funny (to the point where we missed several lines due to all the laughter), it's exciting, the plot is compelling and the chemistry between the cast is near perfect.

Another aspect of this movie that will please movie-goers is that this movie has three strong female characters all with agency. It's so nice to see an action flick that treats the female characters in a way that makes them important to the plot and they have the will and ability to affect things on their own rather than waiting for their prince charming to save the day.

Children of the 80s will find this movie totally radical. For reasons that become clear in the movie, Peter Quill is essentially stuck in the 80s therefore all of his pop culture references are from that time period. It makes for some extremely funny moments.

The writing for this film is so spectacular that you really have no idea if any of these characters are going to survive to the end of the story. It's refreshing to see a movie that doesn't protect its main characters to the point of taking the suspense away as to what may happen to them.

This film can be wrapped up in two words. They will mean nothing to you until you see the movie, but once you do they will be epic. Those words are "dance off". Enjoy.

One small warning: Unlike most MARVEL films, this one uses quite a bit of adult language. So use your discretion when considering taking the young ones.



GET ON UP
Rated - PG-13
Stars: Chadwick Boseman, Nelsan Ellis, Dan Aykroyd
Plot: The story of the life of the godfather of soul, James Brown
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD


James Brown was larger than life. Director Tate Taylor found that out when he took on the challenge of trying to fit all of James Brown into a two-hour movie. It's something that can be done, and someone may eventually be able to do it well, buy Taylor's effort doesn't make the cut.

The story jumps around in a non-chronological order with several story lines not coming together in a cohesive and understandable way until the last few minutes of the movie. In a movie with less content or fewer story lines it's a creative tactic that can add a compelling nature to a film, but in this case it's just confusing.

Taylor also tries to cover so much material that he misses major moments. For example, there are major, life-changing events that happen during the course of the film that are merely mentioned and then washed over by the next story. It was frustrating to be told that something significant was happening, but not be able to see the aftermath play out on screen.

Boseman does a fine job in portraying James Brown both on and off the stage, but his speaking pattern and accent are very difficult to understand. (I have a slight hearing loss issue and tend to read lips as an aide to understanding what people are saying. In this case it was very difficult for me to do that).

It's not a bad movie by any stretch of the imagination, but it's not great either. It offers nothing to the audience that you can't get from waiting a few months and watching it on DVD.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

DVD Review for July 29, 2014

NOAH
Rated - PG-13
Stars: Russell Crowe, Emma Watson, Jennifer Connelly
Plot: Noah, with the help of alien creatures, builds a huge ship to save his family and the animals from a massive flood.
Trailer

Clint Says: Don't even bother


Director Darren Aronofsky said NOAH was the most unbiblical bible movie ever made, and he wasn't kidding. That said, there is zero need for people of faith to be upset by this movie. Basically, Aronofsky has a main character named Noah, he builds a boat and there is a flood. That is the beginning and the end of the similarities with the original story. In fact, if God sued Aronofsky for copyright infringement, He would probably lose.


It feels like Aronofsky read a children's version of the Noah story, realized he had enough material for a 15 minute film, then filled up two more hours of preaching about how humans mess up the earth and why animals are better than humans...oh, and alien-like creatures and a snake that looks like a Dodge Neon.


Russell Crowe does a fine job as Noah, but again, this is not the biblical Noah. This is a man that is just as flawed and crazy as the people dying outside the ark.


Aside from everything else this is just not a very good movie. It's slow moving, it's preachy, and the special effects are sub par for a movie of this magnitude.

A lot of people I know had to see this in theaters even though most of the reviews they read were bad. To a person, they all came out of it and said it was a horrible waste of their time and money. 



THE OTHER WOMAN
Rated - PG-13
Stars: Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, Kate Upton
Plot: Three women are brought together by one cheating man.

Clint Says: Rent it if you have nothing better to do


This is one of those movies that is marketed as a comedy, but all of the funny stuff is put into the trailer. The actual movie is a fairly boring revenge flick with poor editing (you can see several places where the movie was over dubbed and they didn't bother to fix it), and a completely predictable plot.

This movie is entirely forgettable. In fact, this movie was so boring and forgettable that, even though I saw it in a fairly crowded theater, I only heard a few people laugh just a couple of times and during one particularly boring scene I looked around and most of the people were talking with each other, not paying attention to the movie at all.