I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

DVD Review for April 29, 2014

Stars: Kate Winslet, Josh Brolin
Plot: An escaped convict hides in the house of a single mother and her son for a long weekend hoping to elude the police and make a break for the border.

Clint Says: Rent it if you have nothing better to do

It's easy to see why this movie was released in theaters in January. It really has nothing to offer the audience for the first 90 minutes of the movie. Josh Brolin plays a compelling anti-hero, but the script doesn't give him much with which to work. LABOR DAY is full of contrived suspense and the fact that the main characters fall madly into lifelong love over the course of a long weekend makes the This-Feels-Fake Meter move a lot.

If you're looking for a slow-moving, slightly suspenseful love story you may like this movie, but chances are you'll just be disappointed and wanting a large slice of homemade peach pie.

Stars: Kellan Lutz, Gaia Weiss
Plot: The story of Hercules from shunned child to strong demi-god.

Clint Says: If you have to see this, make someone else rent it

Can somebody please make a great movie of the story Hercules? This movie misses the mark in every way possible. First off, he's a demi-god with super-human powers and he only uses them twice. What!? Second, there are plot holes you could drive a truck through. Third, the graphics (which most of this movie is done in CGI) look like they were done in 1998. Fourth, the 3D version uses gimmicky 3D tricks to make the movie look more intense, but audiences are over that now. Finally, I thought that dialogue was important to a movie, I guess the execs on this film disagree with me.

The only audience that will find this movie enjoyable are males between 17 and 22. Everyone else shouldn't bother.

Stars: Vanessa Hudgens, Rosario Dawson, Brendan Fraser
Plot: A teen girl grows up between an abusive mom and a neglectful foster care system. When she finds herself pregnant she goes against everyone's advise and decides to keep her baby.

Clint Says: Buy this DVD

This, based on a true story film, is very difficult to watch, but it is amazing and powerful. Hollywood critics are panning this movie, but audiences love it. Hudgens and Dawson both give the best performances of their careers. If this movie weren't so anti-Hollywood in the decisions made by the main character I believe it would have been released in December and been up for several awards.

Movies like this should be supported by all of us, but just know that it is a tough film with a tough subject matter.

Stars: Allison Miller, Zach Gilford
Plot: An expecting newlywed couple begins to expect dark things may have happened the night they can't remember from their honeymoon.

Clint Says: Don't even bother

This movie is a complete waste of time. Even people that love all horror flicks thought this one was stupid.  If you want to see the best thing this movie had to offer, watch this video of the devil baby prank they did to market this film.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Movie Review for April 25, 2014

Stars: Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, Kate Upton
Plot: Three women find out they are being cheated on by the same guy and, together, they plan their revenge.

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

This is one of those movies that is marketed as a comedy, but all of the funny stuff is put into the trailer. The actual movie is a fairly boring revenge flick with poor editing (you can see several places where the movie was over dubbed and they didn't bother to fix it), and a completely predictable plot.

This movie is entirely forgettable. In fact, this movie was so boring and forgettable that, even though I saw it in a fairly crowded theater, I only heard a few people laugh just a couple of times and during one particularly boring scene I looked around and most of the people were talking with each other, not paying attention to the movie at all.

If you want to see a funny girl movie save your money and wait for MOM'S NIGHT OUT (it comes out in 2 weeks).

Stars: Paul Walker, David Belle, RZA
Plot: An undercover cop and an ex-con must work together to bring down a crime lord overseeing a walled-in section of Detroit.

Clint Says: Don't even bother

BRICK MANSIONS is the last film that Paul Walker worked on in its entirety. Unfortunately it is one of the lamest action movies I've seen in a long time. It is completely cliche and predictable and the dialogue is laughable.

I will say that there are some pretty good fight scenes and some cool parkour, but it's not worth spending $10 to see that.

Stars: Jared Harris, Sam Claflin, Erin Richards
Plot: A professor and his students perform experiments on a strange woman and the results are supernatural.

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

While the premise for THE QUIET ONES is interesting, the movie is lacking. This film comes from Hammer Films, the makers of THE WOMAN IN BLACK and LET ME IN, both well done horror flicks, but it seems that the film makers may be resting on their past successes with this movie.\

If you want to see a good horror flick in theaters this weekend, go see OCULUS instead.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Movie Review for April 18, 2014

Rated PG-13
Stars: Johnny Depp, Rebecca Hall, Morgan Freeman
Plot: A computer scientist works to create a human-like computer, but an anti-technology militant group wants to stop his progress.

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and let somebody else rent it

I had high hope for this film when I saw the first trailer and the cast, but unfortunately this film falls flat. It is brutally slow and when there is action it's anti-climactic.

The premise of the film is interesting. On one hand you have the people pushing the boundaries of technology past the limits of humanity, on the other you have the people that want all technology gone. Apparently, there is only a handful on the planet that can see a happy medium and have a plan to fix the problem.

I wish this film had more to offer the audience, but it's full of plot holes, undeveloped story lines and characters that are so two-dimensional it's really hard to care what happens to them. If you want to see a sci-fi film this weekend, go see CAPTAIN AMERICA.

Rated G
Stars: John C. Reilly
Plot: A mother bear and her two cubs must survive their first year together in the Alaskan wild.

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

Disney Nature brings their A-game once again with BEARS. It is a fun and encouraging story with incredible cinematography. John C. Reilly does a great job narrating this film. He has a great ability to add to the mood of the moment with his voice.

The true stars of this film are the camera crews that obviously worked long hours to catch hundreds of hours of footage in order for the rest of the crew to put together a compelling story. Make sure you stick around through the credits to see some of the camera crews in action.

I would say see it in theaters, but the reality is, this is a family movie and taking the whole family to a movie can cost upwards of $100 and this is the kind of movie that you won't miss anything by seeing it on your TV rather than on the big screen.

Rated R
Stars: Marlon Wayans, Jaime Pressly
Plot: Malcolm has finally moved on from his possessed ex, but strange things start happening when his new girlfriend and her kids move in.

Clint Says: Don't even bother

If you saw the first one, you've already seen this film. And believe it or not, this flick is actually worse than the first one.

It's full of the same sex and racial jokes that are slightly funny at best, but most of the time they are just tired. Spend your money on something better than this junk.

Rated PG
Stars: Greg Kinnear, Kelly Reilly, Connor Corum
Plot: A young boy has a near-death experience and the story he tells of his journey to Heaven during that time is enough to make people all over the world question their own beliefs.

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

This is a highly inspiring and encouraging film that will make you think a lot and challenge your faith. The kid is just about the most adorable thing ever and he does a great job in his role.

If you are familiar with the book, you know it is very short, so there wasn't a whole lot of material to draw from in making a feature-length film. While the film is good, and as far as "faith-based" films go it is one of the best I've ever seen, it still has many moments where it lags. That said, there are also several emotional moments that will have you reaching for the popcorn-covered napkins to dry your tears. I'm sure I heard some ugly crying from fellow movie-goers.

This film is absolutely worth seeing, it's just not necessarily a must-see in theaters.

50 TO 1
Rated PG-13
Stars: Skeet Ulrich, Christian Kane, Todd Lowe
Plot: The true story of a rag-tag group of cowboys trying to get their horse, Mine That Bird, to the Kentucky Derby.

Clint Says: I haven't had a chance to review this film yet

From all accounts, this is an exemplary film worthy of blockbuster status, but one that you will need to search for in order to see. (It looks like it is only opening at Opry Mills and Providence in the Nashville area).

I was able to sit down with the Director, Jim Wilson and his co-writer Faith Conroy as well as two of the cast members, Skeet Ulrich (JERICHO and THE NEWTON BOYS) and Todd Lowe (TRUE BLOOD) to talk about the film. You can hear that interview here.

L to R: Jim Wilson, Faith Conroy, Clint Redwine, Todd Lowe, Skeet Ulrich

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

DVD Review for April 15, 2014

Rated PG
Stars: Ben Stiller, Kristen Wiig
Plot: A man leading an otherwise dull life, escapes by dreaming up wild adventures, but dreams become reality when he must embark on the adventure of a lifetime.

Clint Says: Go buy this DVD now

This is one of my top three movies of 2013. It is heart-warming, funny, inspiring, beautiful, touching and exciting all at the same time.

When I first saw the trailer for MITTY I immediately had unfair expectations of how good I wanted the movie to be. Incredibly, this film surpassed my expectations. I found myself grinning from ear to ear nearly the entire movie.

Wiig and Stiller have a great, but awkward chemistry that works well for the film. This is one of those films that comes along every so often that you want to stand up and cheer the good guy along.

Rated PG-13
Stars: Kevin Hart, Ice Cube
Plot: A diminutive school security guard must convince one of the toughest cops on the Atlanta PD that he is worthy of marrying the cop's sister.

Clint Says: Rent this movie this week

While there is a lot about this movie that is predictable, it's an excellent platform for the comedy of Kevin Hart and Ice Cube as his straight man.

If you've not seen Kevin Hart in action, RIDE ALONG is a perfect gateway into his style of comedy.

Rated PG
Stars: Will Arnett, Brendan Fraser, Liam Neeson
Plot: An exiled squirrel must decide whether to help the hungry animals in the park or keep the biggest stash of nuts they've ever seen all to himself.

Clint Says: Renting it one time for the kids will be more than enough

I'm not really sure who this movie is supposed to please. It is too boring for adults to sit though and some of the plot is too complicated for little kids to follow along. Most of the laughs come in the form of potty humor or predictable slapstick. I took my four year old daughter and she hated it. She said it was "a boy movie". Maybe if you have an eight year old boy you'll have better luck, but I doubt it.

Rated PG-13
Stars: Judi Dench, Steve Coogan
Plot: A journalist helps a woman find the child she was force to give up years ago.

Clint Says: Buy this DVD

PHILOMENA is one of those little movies that could. Nominated for four Academy Awards and a couple of dozen other awards as well, this film is most assuredly worth seeing.

Judi Dench's character is both beautifully charming because of her personality and heart-breakingly empty because of the loss of her first-born. Steve Coogan character also has an interesting story arc that gives the audience a glimpse at an unlikely, messy, but well-timed relationship between the main characters.

If you need a little bit of heart-warming quirkiness in your life PHILOMENA will help fill that void.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Movie Review for April 11, 2014

Rated PG-13
Stars: Kevin Costner, Jennifer Garner
Plot: The GM of the Cleveland Browns has a seemingly no-brainer draft pick, but he, at the risk of losing his job, has other ideas.

Clint Says: Save some money and go see a matinee

DRAFT DAY is a well-done, fast-paced film that, thankfully, is about relationships and the art of the deal rather than football. It's not nearly as good as JERRY MAGUIRE, but it's born of the same ilk.

I found myself engaged and entertained throughout the movie even though I'm not a fan of the NFL and I find the draft to be painfully boring. (I know, I'm weird). This is a plus for the film, because it will appeal to a much broader audience than just the NFL fan needing something that resembles football during the long off season.

Costner and Garner are vanilla as usual, but the action and intensity of the story keep things moving along well.

It's a good date movie because it's feel-good, you don't have to think too much and it has wide appeal.

Rated PG
Stars: Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway
Plot: Blu and his family go to the Amazon jungle to find a group of birds just like them. When they do, Blu finds himself amidst several rivals.

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

RIO 2 is your typical sequel. It's not quite as good as the original movie in the series and the story is so thin they have to use a lot of filler. In fact, if the decision makers on this film just stuck to the story, the movie would be about 30 minutes long. Instead, there is about 60 minutes of useless, but colorful, choreographed filler.

It kind of reminded me of watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics. It's quite a spectacle, but when it's all done you quickly forget it.

There are several scenes that may be a bit too scary for the under 5 crowd and there isn't enough entertainment value for the adults, so I would suggest only seeing this move with older children, and then only if they really loved the first movie.

Rated R
Stars: Karen Gillan, Brenton Thwaits
Plot: A woman tries to overturn her brother's murder conviction by claiming a possessed mirror creates evil twins.

Clint Says: See this in theaters...if you can handle it

I was pleasantly surprised that this was a horror movie that was actually scary. It does do the usual scare tactics that most horror films use, but this film has an interesting plot and a cast that is able to carry it off in a way that isn't cheesy.

This is a great popcorn flick that will have you avoiding mirrors for a while.

Rated R
Stars: Scarlett Johansson, Paul Brannigan
Plot: An alien dressed in a skin suit seduces lonely men then destroys them.

Clint Says: Don't even bother

This may be the single dumbest movie I have ever seen. It's one of those "experimental" films (read: really bad with horrifically lame music, camerawork, acting, plot, dialogue, sound editing and direction).
This is a two-hour waste of time. If it hadn't been a press screening where they require a quote from you after the film, I would have walked out about 20 minutes in. (I've never walked out of a movie...that's how bad this is).
By 30 minutes in I was checking my watch and begging for the movie to either do something or end. And when I say "do something" I mean ANYTHING! The first several minutes of the movie are weird visuals and ridiculously long establishing shots. Then it's just Scarlett Johansson driving around, picking up lonely guys and then walking backwards in a black room while the guys get naked and sink into black ooze.
The dialogue (what little there is) is almost entirely in super-thick Scottish accents with no subtitles. Not that it matters because I didn't care at all what they were saying or doing. I just wanted everyone to die and have the credits roll.
I have seen that some film critics are calling this Johansson's "performance of her career" and "iconic". They must have seen a different movie than I did. All Johansson does in this flick is drive around, stare awkwardly at people or things for excruciatingly long moments and walk backwards away from lonely, naked guys.
I would rather watch C-SPAN for a week straight than have to endure watching this utter haggis again.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

DVD Review for April 8, 2014

Rated PG-13
Stars: Ian McKellan, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage
Plot: Bilbo finds a mysterious ring while he continues his quest to reclaim the Dwarves' homeland from the dragon, Smaug.

Clint Says: Buy this movie as soon as possible

If you saw the first movie in this series and gave up on it that is understandable. It was slow-moving and not up to the standards we have come to expect from director Peter Jackson. THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG is a return to excellence. I would suggest you give this series another chance.

While I will readily admit that there are several moments in this film that remind me of work, (namely a bunch of people having board meetings and then walking around in single-file lines), this film has a lot more action than the first and Smaug is amazing. It is completely worth sitting through the slower parts to get to the big dragon at the end.

Rated R
Stars: Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney
Plot: A dysfunctional, estranged family is brought back together by a family crisis.

Clint Says: Wait for it to show up on TV

This movie can be summed up in one sentence: A group of over-qualified actors overacting.

I know that Meryl Streep was nominated for an Oscar for this film, but I'm convinced that Streep could play a corpse and still get a nod from the Academy.

This movie really isn't worth your time.

Rated PG-13
Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Robert De Niro, Kevin Hart, Kim Basinger
Plot: Two old, has-been prize fighters must put aside their life-long grudge for one last fight.

Clint Says: Let someone else rent it

The only thing good about this movie is Kevin Hart and Alan Arkin, they are hysterical. The rest of the movie is, unfortunately, just as lame as it sounds...two old guys that hate each other gearing up for one last fight. Oh, and there's a girl involved, too.

If you see this movie, you'll find yourself cringing and saying to Stallone and De Niro, "please stop, you're both too old for roles like this."

Rated PG
Stars: Justin Bieber
Plot: A documentary on the pop star's rise to fame.

Clint Says: I don't need to say anything. Beliebers will buy it, the rest will ignore it

Really, there is nothing to say about this. I could say it was the worst film ever made and the Beliebers would still buy up every last copy.

I will tell you this though, if you aren't a Belieber, this movie isn't good enough to make you change your mind. If you want to see a well done, pop star documentary, rent ONE DIRECTION: THIS IS US.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Summer Blockbuster Preview

Now that we've finally made it out of the longest winter EVER and into spring, we can finally set our sights on the important things in life. Like, which summer blockbuster movies are going to be worth your time and money.

The summer of 2014 is shaping up to be one of the biggest and best yet.

Here are some of the movies you may want to check out this summer. (This list is based on the traditional summer movie schedule, Memorial Day through Labor Day). This is not a complete list. There are several other films coming out this summer, but these are the ones that seem to have the best chance at reaching "blockbuster" status.
Save up some cash or find a rich date in the next month and enjoy the movies this summer! 

Release Date: May 23
Mutants, time travel and DOOM...Oh my!
Release Date: May 30
Please, please, please, Disney...Let this be as incredible as it looks and not cheesy.
Release Date: June 6
Tom Cruise in an end-of-the-world movie? Who knew?
Release Date: June 6
YA readers will pack out the theaters for this anticipated film.
Release Date: June 13
Hopefully this sequel will do justice to the original.
Release Date: June 13
The original is one of the best animated films of all time. This should match it.
Release Date: June 27
This may be the needed reboot of a series that has lost its way.
Release Date: July 2
This may be the scariest film of the year.
Release Date: July 2
This looks like a mashup of LEAN ON ME and E.T.
Release Date: July 2
The trailer will make you pee in your pants. Hopefully the movie will, too.
Release Date: July 11
The human apocalypse comes in the form of Caesar and his troops.
Release Date: July 18
Anything has to be better than the first one...I hope.
Release Date: July 25
This is the second HERCULES this year. Can we please stop remaking this story?
Release Date: August 1
This film will have the best soundtrack and dancing of the year.
Release Date: August 1
It's like X-MEN...or THE AVENGERS...just be glad it's MARVEL like the other good ones.
Release Date: August 8
A found-footage disaster film...this will either be huge or a total bomb.
Release Date: August 8
This one has got to be less cheesy than the last one...doesn't it? Who wants pizza?
Release Date: August 15
This series is the best of the best when it comes to over-the-top action flicks.
Release Date: August 22
The original was revolutionary. Could the sequel be as well?


Friday, April 4, 2014

Movie Review for April 4, 2014

Rated PG-13
Stars: Chris Evans, Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan
Plot: Captain America is forced into a battle with an old foe, but he must be careful because he's not sure who he can trust.

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

It is surprising that the studio decided to release this movie in early April rather than wait for the summer blockbuster season. It fits all the criteria for a summer blockbuster: explosions, action, explosions, hot girl that might be good but is probably bad, explosions, epic fight scenes, a good guy that turns out to be bad, explosions, a bad guy that turns good, oh...and a super-good looking hero that slowly walks away from explosions.

CAPTAIN AMERICA is exactly what we have come to expect from the MARVEL series. It's an excellent action movie and a really good, fun time for viewers. Chris Evans (Steve Rogers/Captain America) and Scarlett Johannson (Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow) play well off of each other giving the audience entertaining and witty banter throughout the film.

There are several great moments throughout the movie that had our audience breaking out into applause a good six or seven times. (MARVEL movies are always best to see with uber fans). We also get some answers to long-held questions from the first CAPTAIN AMERICA movie.

THE WINTER SOLDIER is better than the original because it is much faster paced and we get to see a more developed hero. It's still not quite as good as the IRON MAN or THOR series, but it is definitely a worthy competitor.

As with all of the other MARVEL movies there are a couple of things to look for while munching on your popcorn: 1. Stan Lee (MARVEL creator) has a cameo. Look for him in the Smithsonian, 2. There are two secret scenes at the end of the movie. Wait until the very end of the credits to see both.

The end-of-the-movie tease aheads will make for some interesting conversation among the MARVEL geekdom and fans of the movies. I won't say much as not to ruin anything other than, yes, that belongs to Loki.

If you like action movie and/or comic book based movies I highly recommend this one.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

DVD Reviews for April 1, 2014

Rated R
Stars: Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Steve Carell
Plot: Ron Burgundy and his misfit TV news team move to New York to help start the first 24-hour news channel.

Clint Says: Let somebody else rent it.

ANCHORMAN 2 has moments of brilliance and several moments that are simply cringe worthy. This film is about half an hour too long and that half hour is brutal.

If you want to see a really good version of ANCHORMAN 2, watch the movie until he falls on the ice, then skip ahead to the last few minutes of the movie. You'll be glad you did and you won't miss anything worth watching.

I do give this movie an A+ for the completely hysterical way it makes fun of the 24-hour news cycle, but most of the humor in the sequel is just a rehash of jokes from the first ANCHORMAN movie.

Rated PG-13
Stars: Keanu Reeves, Hiroyuki Sanada
Plot: A small group of dishonored Samurai fight to avenge the death of their leader.

Clint Says: Rent it

47 RONIN is an interesting movie that fans of the genre will enjoy, but if you are only a casual observer, this will probably bore you.

Its slow pace allows for some incredible cinematography, but there is a noticeable lack of action. The movie takes more than an hour before it feels like it starts moving. When is does finally get going, it is intense and action-packed.

Like the pacing, the special effects are hit and miss. Sometimes they are incredible, other times they look like they were done on an old computer for a movie in the 80s.

It's not a bad movie at all, it's just not a movie for everyone.

Rated G
Stars: Mae Whitman, Christina Hendricks, Tom Hiddleston
Plot: Zarina, an inquisitive fairy, finds herself in trouble and alone. She joins a band of pirates and plans to steal all of the pixie dust from the fairies, but Tinkerbell and her friends have plans of their own.

Clint Says: Buy this for the little princess in your home

If you've seen any of the Disney Tinkerbell DVDs you know the feel of this movie as well. I took the toughest little four year old critic to see a screening of this movie and although she was not overly thrilled with the entire movie she liked it, and that's saying a lot coming from her. (The only movies worthy of her time are CINDERELLA and THE LITTLE MERMAID).

Personally, I loved the foreshadowing to Peter Pan. We get our first glimpses of Skull Island, the Tick Tock Croc, and Captain Hook (voiced by Tom Hiddleston...awesome).

If you have a Tinkerbell fan in your home, she will be thrilled with THE PIRATE FAIRY and will watch it again and again.