I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Movie Reviews for October 30, 2015: OUR BRAND IS CRISIS and BURNT

Rated: R
Release Date: October 30, 2015
Director: David Gordon Green
Stars: Sandra Bullock, Billy Bob Thornton, Joaquim de Almeida
Plot: Two political strategists lock horns during a Bolivian presidential election

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and make someone else rent it

This movie is almost completely unwatchable. It doesn't do anything for the first 30 minutes, it barely does anything over the course of the rest of the film, and there is almost zero redemptive quality to any of it.

Sandra Bullock and Billy Bob Thornton are great in their roles, but the plot is just plain terrible. It's one of those movies you know where it is going, but the ending is still disappointing.

The dirty politics throughout will make you feel like you need to take a long shower and loofah the nastiness off of you. Unfortunately, you won't be able to wash off the stench of this flick.

Rated: R
Release Date: October 30, 2015
Director: John Wells
Stars: Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller, Daniel Bruhl, Alicia Vikander
Plot: A recovering addict tries to get back in the game of high end cuisine

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

This is food porn at its finest. If you love food shows and high-end cuisine you will find this movie completely captivating. I will give you one warning though. If you can't stand Gordon Ramsey then skip this movie. Bradley Cooper is basically the world's biggest jerk of a chef.

Cooper and Miller have much better chemistry in BURNT than they did in AMERICAN SNIPER, and both do very well in their respective roles.

Aside from all of the amazing food footage this movie has a compelling plot, interesting and deep characters, and a unique feel. And while this isn't necessarily a film that must be seen on the big screen, if you are looking for a good movie to see, BURNT is a good choice.

Thursday, October 22, 2015


Rated: R
Release Date: October 23, 2015
Director: Danny Boyle
Stars: Michael Fassbender, Kate Winslet, Seth Rogen, Jeff Daniels
Plot: A behind-the-scenes look at the man that was Steve Jobs

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

When I first heard that the concept for this film was to show Steve Jobs behind the scenes of three of his product launches I was nervous that it was going to be quite a boring film. To my relief, this film is anything but boring. In fact, it is very intense and exciting all the way through. 

Fassbender and Winslet have extraordinary chemistry that allows for truly captivating banter between them. Seth Rogen does a great job in his nerdtastic portrayal of Woz. And Jeff Daniels proves once again that he can make a lot out of very little. 

Just by the nature of the film one can easily gather that a lot of the events and conflicts are fictionalized, but even so it is very well done. I wouldn't go so far as to say that the information in the movie is all true to Steve Jobs and the people around him, but I would bet that it is a mostly accurate representation. 

If you like to think while you are being entertained you will really enjoy STEVE JOBS. 

Rated: PG
Release Date: October 23, 2015
Director: Jon M. Chu
Stars: Aubrey Peeples, Juliette Lewis, Ryan Guzman, Molly Ringwald
Plot: Four sisters hit the big time and must figure out how to stay together in the spotlight while solving a mystery

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and make someone else rent it 

This film may crack my Ten Worst Films of 2015, although we still have two months left for it to be knocked out of that dubious honor. I can't even begin to tell you how cheesy and lame this film is. The dialogue is painful, the lip syncing doesn't match the lyrics, they pretend to play one instrument while we hear something different, and it's almost two hours long. 

Fans of the JATH cartoon will be annoyed because the film strays wildly from the story you know. Ironically, the 1980's TV show is more forward-thinking and pro-woman than the movie, the Misfits aren't in the movie until the very end, and Synergy is totally lame compared to the Synergy of the cartoon. 

Really, the only people that might like this film are girls between 8 and 12. For them it will be a fun film with some positive and empowering messages. For everyone else you'll see those empowering moments as manipulative and forced. 

If you are unlucky enough to have to see this movie you will be treated to about five minutes of awesome. Be on the lookout for some epic cameos, Brad the Valet, and the uber fan security guard. They at least make some of this film tolerable. 

Also, Kimber may be the most unloved and under appreciated girl in the history of movies. You'll, unfortunately, need to see the film to figure out why. 


Rated: PG-13
Release Date: October 23, 2015
Director: Breck Eisner
Stars: Vin Diesel, Rose Leslie
Plot: Kaulder is the only thing standing between humans and the witches intent on destroying them\

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

This is the kind of film where you hope it will be smart and unique, but you go in expecting it to be just another typical action flick with witches. Unfortunately, it lives up only to the expectations and not the hopes. 

The setup for this film give the potential for something special, but ultimately there is nothing about this film that is extraordinary or compelling. It moves slow, the action scenes are muddled and hard to follow, and if you are a HARRY POTTER fan you'll quickly catch on that the Queen Witch is basically Voldemort. (Horcruxes for the almost win).

There are a couple of exciting elements to the film, but nothing that is worth spending the money to see it in theaters. Just wait for the DVD, and when you do finally see it, check your brain at the door. because if you think too much you'll really hate this movie.

Rated: R
Release Date: October 23, 2015
Director: Barry Levinson
Stars: Bill Murray, Kate Hudson, Zooey Deschanel, Bruce Willis
Plot: A music manager finds an unlikely singer in an unlikely place and tries to make her a star

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

Typically when you hear the name Bill Murray you associate that with comedy. On some level ROCK THE KASBAH is a comedy, but it is so much more than that. 

It isn't a great film by any means, however it is a very good film. It is heartwarming, courageous, inspiring, and compelling. 

If you are looking for a side - splitting laugh fest this is not your movie. But if you want to see a movie that will make you smile and think about life in a different way, ROCK THE KASBAH is a great choice.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Movie Review For October 16, 2015: GOOSEBUMPS, BRIDGE OF SPIES and CRIMSON PEAK

Rated: PG
Release Date: October 16, 2015
Director: Rob Letterman
Stars: Jack Black, Dylan Minnette, Odeya Rush, Ryan Lee
Plot: When a boy suspects foul play at the neighbors' house, he finds out that R.L. Stein's monsters are real

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

Jack Black belongs in the Awesomeness Hall of Fame. He is so much fun as the mysterious R.L.Stein. That, combined with the unique story line for this movie, makes it one worth seeing. It is a fun, funny, somewhat scary film that kids from 8 to 88 will enjoy. 

Fans of the books and TV show will enjoy this movie thoroughly, but it is just fine for those of you that have never delved into the GOOSEBUMPS world. The writers and director do a great job of catching you up without making it boring for the big fans.

The only thing I wish was better about this movie are the monsters. The CGI feels like it is from about 10 years ago. I liked the monsters, but the amateurish graphics kept pulling me out of the story with how obviously fake the monsters were. (I know. I know. Monsters are fake. But they could at least look real). 

This film is like a gateway drug for horror flicks. If you don't like horror films, but you want to get into the Halloween spirit a bit, this film should satisfy your craving. I wouldn't take any kids under six or seven to see this movie, but it is rated PG, so it's pretty tame for most families. 

Also, be on the lookout for a special appearance by R.L. Stein. It's a fun moment. 

Rated: PG-13
Release Date: October 16, 2015
Director: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Tom Hanks, Mark Rylance
Plot: A lawyer is recruited to negotiate a deal during the Cold War era between the US and Russia to get a detained US pilot returned

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

When Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks work together on a project it is fair to expect an exceptional film. BRIDGE OF SPIES meets that expectation. Hanks is masterful once again and Spielberg allows the story to be the star without overdoing it. 

The film is a bit slow in some parts, but it is also incredibly intense and suspenseful. It's a great period piece that will give you a lot to talk about over coffee after you've seen it. 

This is a film that I will probably see again, because there is so much to it that I want to see if I pick up on anything I missed the first time around. 

There may be a few award nominations in the future for this film, but it won't be an Oscar front runner. However, it is still very much worth the price of admission.

Rated: R
Release Date: October 16, 2015
Director: Guillermo del Toro
Stars: Tom Hiddleston, Mia Wasikowska, Jessica Chastain, Charlie Hunnam
Plot: An American woman is lured into the evil plans of a European man and woman. 

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

As far as horror movies go, this is one of the better ones. It is much more along the lines of true horror rather than slasher flick. That said, it still had a few eye rolling moments of cliche horror movie antics. 

The one thing that sets this movie apart from most horror films is the cast. They do an incredible job and make what could have been a rather bland film into something worth seeing. However, all of you SONS OF ANARCHY fans will be expecting Charlie Hunnam to hop on a motorcycle at any moment, because his character has many similar mannerisms to Jax Teller. 

If you are looking for a suspenseful thriller with a good ghost story to get you in the mood for Halloween, CRIMSON PEAK is a great choice. 

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Movie Review For October 9, 2015: PAN

Rated: PG
Release Date: October 9, 2015
Director: Joe Wright
Stars: Levi Miller, Hugh Jackman, Garrett Hedlund, Rooney Mara
Plot: A young orphan finds himself leading a battle against pirates in a strange land as he searches for his mother

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

I was nervous going into this film because the studio moved the release date a few times, and that is rarely a good sign for a movie. I'm still not sure why they changed the release date, but it was worth the wait. This film is a spectacular sight that will captivate and mesmerize your entire family.

This is a prequel to the Peter Pan story, but it honors well the story that we all know. It even feels like the Director wanted to pay homage to HOOK with some of the sets and the overall look of Neverland.

This film is also one of the first to use 3D to the full effect by adding in a black bar at the top and bottom of the screen and having the action spill over that. It makes the movie come to life even more than your typical 3D film.

The acting, for the most part, is outstanding. (Garrett Hedlund is the weak link here). And the film is highly entertaining and action-packed throughout. Some of the action may be a bit too intense for the under-five crowd, but I think most kids will enjoy this film.

Although this movie is really good, it isn't really award-worthy, except in a few of the technical areas. It wouldn't surprise me if we see PAN up for a costume Oscar.

Hopefully, this is not the last we see of this franchise. There are a lot of story lines that would make for an interesting sequel, not the least of which is the falling out between Peter and Hook. Personally, I can't wait for PAN 2.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Movie Reviews For October 2, 2015: THE MARTIAN, THE WALK and SICARIO

Rated: PG-13
Release Date: October 2, 2015
Director: Ridley Scott
Stars: Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Jeff Daniels, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Plot: A man must figure out how to survive alone on Mars after he is accidentally left behind

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

Clocking in at just shy of 2 1/2 hours, THE MARTIAN is surprisingly fast-paced and doesn't feel long at all. This is a fascinating and compelling film that will draw you in and captivate you from the opening minutes until the end credits roll.

The cinematography and effect are spectacular. In fact, this may be a decent contender for some of the technical awards coming up. However, I don't see this movie getting nominations for things like best picture, best actor or director. I can't really put my finger on it, but I was expecting this film to be more than it was. I think it was missing an emotional element that could have taken it from a great movie to an Oscar front-runner.

THE MARTIAN is definitely worth the price of a theater ticket, but it isn't a film that is going to wow you like GRAVITY did.

Rated: PG
Release Date: October 2, 2015
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Stars: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Charlotte Le Bon, Ben Kingsley
Plot: In 1974 a French man travels to New York City to try to secretly, and illegally, walk a high-wire between the World Trade Center towers.

Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now

This film is spectacularly fun and insanely intense. I spent a good 45 minutes of the film grabbing the arm rests on my seat as tight as I could for fear of falling off the buildings. In fact, the sheer epicness of the tight rope scenes may be even better than what we witnessed while watching GRAVITY. And while EVEREST was intense, this movie makes EVEREST look like a mole hill.

Like EVEREST and GRAVITY, THE WALK is a movie that must be seen in IMAX 3D. If you wait for the DVD you'll miss the whole point of the grandness and depth of the film.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt does a marvelous job in his role, so much so that there may be a few award nomination in his future. I doubt he will win any of them, but the nominations may be there. It will be up for, and win, many technical awards.

Tickets to THE WALK should come with an oxygen tank, mask and blood pressure medication. If you only see a couple of films a year, this should be one of them.

Rated: R
Release Date: October 2, 2015
Director: Denis Villeneuve
Stars: Emily Blunt, Josh Brolin, Benicio Del Toro
Plot: An FBI agent is recruited to a black ops operation with the goal of cutting off the head of the Mexican drug cartel

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

This film had the potential to be something unique and interesting. Instead, it took the road almost always traveled by Hollywood and it became nothing more than your typical drug movie shoot-em-up.

Beyond that it took Emily Blunt's character and went completely off the rails. She is described as an agent that "has been kicking down doors since day one", meaning that she is kick-butt in the field. Unfortunately, the director decided that it would be a great idea for her to completely forget her training and fall apart having to rely on the stronger and smarter men throughout.

I will say that the film is interesting an compelling even though it is cliche and annoying, but it's not good enough to spend the big bucks at the theater.