I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Movie Review for January 17, 2014

Rated PG-13
Stars: Chris Pine, Kevin Costner, Keira Knightley
Plot: A young Jack Ryan is recruited by the CIA be a financial analyst on Wall Street for the purpose of finding terrorist money.
Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see it in theaters

This is one of those January surprise movies. Typically January releases with no press screenings means the movie is going to be horrible. Not so with JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT. This is a great movie. It's fast-paced, suspenseful, and a compelling storyline. Fans of action/suspense movies will enjoy this as will long-time fans of the Tom Clancy novels.

Rated PG-13
Stars: Ice Cube, Kevin Hart
Plot: A diminutive school security guard tries to survive the day on a ride along with his future brother-in-law, a tough Atlanta detective.
Clint Says: Save some money and go to the matinee

Even though this movie is predictable and cliche every step of the way, I still really enjoyed it because it is pee-your-pants funny. If you are looking for a few good laughs without having to think about plot, this is a perfect movie to see.

Rated PG
Stars: Will Arnett, Liam Neeson
Plot: A self-serving, exiled squirrel is forced to help the other park animals raid a business with a stash of nuts that would set them up forever.
Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

I'm not really sure who this movie is supposed to please. It is too boring for adults to sit though and some of the plot is too complicated for little kids to follow along. Most of the laughs come in the form of potty humor or predictable slapstick. I took my four year old daughter and she hated it. She said it was "a boy movie". Maybe if you have an eight year old boy you'll have better luck, but I doubt it. If anything, don't spend the money now, wait until it comes out on DVD then try your luck.

Rated R
Stars: Allison Miller, Zach Gilford
Plot: An expecting newlywed couple begins to expect dark things may have happened the night they can't remember from their honeymoon.
Clint Says: Don't even bother

This movie is a complete waste of time. If you want to see the best thing this movie had to offer, watch this video of the devil baby prank they did to market this film.

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