I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Movie Review for August 8, 2014

NOTE: I am currently traveling out of the country through August 22. There are several movies being released the next three weeks that I have yet to see and will not get a chance to see them before they are released. If you see any of these films, please feel free to write your own reviews in the comments section. I will do my best to catch up with the reviews when I return.

Rated - PG
Stars: Hellen Mirren, Om Puri, Manish Dayal
Plot: Two rival restaurant owners clash when the son of one goes to work for the other.

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

This movie is straight up food porn for foodies. If you like slow-motion egg beating montages and people eating ripe, juicy fruits and vegetables as their eyes roll back in their heads, this is the movie for you.

I would be remiss if I didn't try to use as many food analogies as possible while reviewing this film so here we go...

While I did like this movie there were ingredients (1) that were missing making it rather bland to the palate (2). I wish the director had chosen to spice things up (3) a bit with more conflict between the characters
rather than figuratively throwing it in a microwave (4) to resolve it quickly.

The parallel love stories do heat up (5) well as the movie progresses and the story is intriguing. Although this is not a children's movie at all it is clean enough to take any little foodies in your family. In a summer filled with blockbuster action flicks, THE HUNDRED-FOOT JOURNEY is a respectable palate cleanse (6) for everyone.

Rated - PG-13
Stars: Megan Fox, Will Arnett
Plot: The four turtle brothers must work together to bring down the criminal rule of Shredder.

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and let someone else rent it

This is one of this reboots that nobody asked for, but Hollywood made it anyway. The turtles are creepy, the story is tired, Megan Fox still can't act, and the action scenes move and jump so fast it's hard to tell what is going on.

There are several things that happen that are way too coincidental or convenient giving the audience ample opportunities to eye roll.

It's also a film that misses its core audience. The older fans are going to be turned off by the sheer stupidity of the film and it is too intense for the under 8 crowd.

This film is significantly less cheesy than the 1990 version, but it's still not worth seeing.

Rated - PG-13
Stars: Richard Armitage, Sarah Wayne Callies, Matt Walsh
Plot: A massive outbreak of tornadoes has people running for their lives.

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and let someone else rent it

This is nothing more than an overdone, crappy version of TWISTER. The Director starts this film out using the "found footage" technique where all of the video the audience sees is shot by the characters in the movie, but about halfway through the film he starts using interspersed shots from an outside perspective. It felt like there were scenes that they really wanted in the movie, but couldn't figure out a way to have a character shoot it so they took the lazy way out and hoped the audience wouldn't notice.

There is one very compelling scene in the film where you actually feel for the two people that are about to die, but that covers about four minutes of the film. The other 100 minutes is eye-rolling stupidity.

I'm sure the planning meeting for this film included a brain-storming session with the title, "Forget About Plot And Continuity, What Cool Things Can A Tornado Destroy?"

Without giving away anything that the trailer didn't already show us, my favorite eye-rolling scene is when the massive, climactic uber-tornado hits the small-town airport and takes out a half-dozen 747's. Apparently, Silverton, Oklahoma is a major international hub.

The special effects are well done, but that alone is not worth the price of admission.

Rated - PG-13
Stars: Ryan Guzman, Briana Evigan
Plot: The best of the best from other Step Up competitions come together to find fame and glory in Las Vegas.

Clint Says: I didn't see this one yet

If you see this one, please let people know what you thought in the comments section.

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