I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Movie Review for March 28, 2014

Stars: Russell Crowe, Emma Watson, Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins
Plot: A man is told by God to build a massive ship in order to save his family and animals from a world-destroying flood.

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and let somebody else rent it

Director Darren Aronofsky said NOAH was the most unbiblical bible movie ever made, and he wasn't kidding.

It feels like Aronofsky read a children's version of the Noah story, realized he had enough material for a 15 minute film, then filled up two more hours of preaching about how humans mess up the earth and why animals are better than humans.

Russell Crowe does a fine job as Noah, but again, this is not the biblical Noah. This is a man that is just as flawed and crazy as the people dying outside the ark.

Putting aside the issues bible believing people will have with this film, it's just not a very good movie. It's slow moving, it's preachy, and the special effects are sub par for a movie of this magnitude.

Rated R
Stars: Ralph Fiennes, Jude Law, Willem Dafoe, F. Murray Abraham, Jeff Goldblum, Bill Murray, Edward Norton
Plot: A world-class concierge trains his protege in the ways of hotel service while going on a fantastic adventure.

Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now

This may be Wes Anderson's best work yet. Ralph Fiennes is spectacular as are many of the other peculiar characters throughout the film. If forced to put this movie into a category, I'd have to call it a dark comedy, but it is much more than that.

The plot is uniquely interesting, the music is outstanding and, even though we are way too far out from the 2015 Academy Awards for Hollywood to remember this film, it wouldn't surprise me at all for this film to get an Oscar nod for cinematography. Every scene in this movie is framed like a beautiful painting.

Wes Anderson's work isn't for everyone, in fact, some of his former films I find to be a complete waste of time (FANTASTIC MR. FOX and THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS), but if you've ever enjoyed any of his quirky works, you will love your stay at THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL.

The best way I can describe this movie is that it is a cross between MONTY PYTHON and CLUE.

Stars: Michael Pena, America Ferrera, Rosario Dawson
Plot: The biography of Cesar Chavez, a civil rights leader and labor organizer.

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

Growing up in California, I was very excited for this movie to hit the theaters. Just about every town in California has a street named after Cesar Chavez. It took a while, but his contribution to the Latino community finally caught the attention of Hollywood. Unfortunately, this is the only wide-release Latino-based movie scheduled for release in 2014.

I really wanted this movie to be good, and it's not bad at all, but it is very slow. I'm sure it can't be easy making an exciting movie about migrant farm workers unionizing, but this movie could have been something really special given a better screenplay.

I hope this movie does well, because I'd like to see more like it coming out of Hollywood, but the truth of the matter is, this movie will appeal to only a small portion of movie-goers and will probably fade away quickly.

Rated R
Stars: Jason Bateman, Kathryn Hahn, Rohan Chand
Plot: A 40 year old man finds a loophole in the rules of a spelling bee meant for young kids and, to the dismay of everyone, joins the competition.

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

Jason Bateman makes his feature directorial debut with the darkly funny BAD WORDS. While the movie isn't awful (it's actually quite good in several parts), it tries to be too many things to suit too many people. It is full of the raunchy joke style we saw from Bateman in HORRIBLE BOSSES, but it also tries to be heartwarming in the end.

This movie could be so much better if Bateman decided to choose one or the other. Basically, all you need to know about this movie is how to spell D-V-D.

Rated R
Stars: Arnold Schwarzennegger, Sam Worthington, Terrence Howard
Plot: A group of highly-trained DEA agents find themselves under attack after taking down a cartel safe house.

Clint Says: No review yet

The studio did not put SABOTAGE out early for reviews. (Usually not a good sign). If you happen to see it, feel free to post your thoughts about it in the comments section.

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