I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

DVD Review for May 20, 2014

Rated: PG-13
Stars: Matt Damon, George Clooney, Kate Blanchett
Plot: A group of art historians are recruited by the US military to find thousands of pieces of art stolen by the Nazis during World War 2.

Clint Says: It's worth a rental, but don't buy it

THE MONUMENTS MEN is a fascinating story based on true events. While I found the movie interesting, it could have been so much more and so much better. It's not nearly as dark and suspenseful as one might expect and at some points it borders on campy.

There are several scenes shot in the style of an old WWII movie, but then there are other scenes shot with modern-day movie making techniques. It almost seems like the director (Clooney) couldn't quite figure out the plan for this movie. Nor could he show the should-be brilliant chemistry of the fine cast.

For a movie about the salvation of high art, this movie is anything but high art.

Rated: PG-13
Stars: Kevin Costner, Amber Heard, Hailee Steinfeld
Plot: A CIA operative tries to reconnect with his daughter while taking on a risky mission in exchange for a drug that may save his life.

Clint Says: If you have to see this movie make someone else rent it

Kevin Costner proves once again that he has zero ability to act. That combined with a horrible screenplay and poor directing make for a 2-hour snooze fest. Here are a couple of things you'll be able to "look forward" to in 3DTK:
1. The main villain has little more than a cameo role. How are you supposed to care about the good guy getting the bad guy if you have no clue what the bad guy is all about?
2. The business-like CIA handler heads to Paris and instantly becomes an over-sexualized weirdo for no discernible reason whatsoever.
3.  There are several moments of would-be comedic relief, but Costner's acting is so poor they just come across as lame.
4. The movie is not a beat-the-clock action thriller like the trailers suggest. Instead, it is a movie about a dysfunctional family trying to reconcile while the CIA gets in the way every so often.

If you really need to see a movie similar to this, go watch THE BOURNE IDENTITY again...you'll be much happier with your choice.

Rated: R
Stars: Kevin Hart, Michael Ealy, Regina Hall, Joy Bryant
Plot: Two couples compare notes on their relationships while they head in different directions.

Clint Says: It's worth a rental

ABOUT LAST NIGHT is one of those relationship movies that makes me so thankful that I'm already married and don't have to go through the stupidity of dating. There are many moments of cringe-worthy arguments and uncomfortable exchanges that make this movie equally uncomfortable to watch. It is very funny, but also extremely raunchy, there are some heart-warming moments and other moment that make you say "what just happened there?" It's a mediocre movie at best, but it will give you several good laughs.

Rated: PG-13
Stars: Kit Harington, Emily Browning, Keifer Sutherland
Plot: A gladiator falls in love with a woman out of his class while fighting for his freedom. Meanwhile, a volcano near their city is coming to life.

Clint Says: It's worth a rental if you have an awesome TV and surround sound

If you didn't see POMPEII in the theaters you missed out. The movie isn't very good, but the effects are spectacular. This is much more of an apocalypse movie than a love-story, so if you don't have an entertainment system that's able to shake your couch then you'd be better served renting something else.

Rated: PG-13
Stars: Zoey Deutch, Lucy Fry
Plot: A half-vampire/half-human is tasked with protecting one of the peaceful Vampire royalty from evil vampires.

Clint Says: If you are a tween or teen girl you will love this

If you are a teen girl, this is a movie tailor-made for you. For the rest of humanity, you will find this movie both annoying and frustrating.

It's best to just buy a copy of this movie for a teen girl in your life and let them have control of the TV for a while. It'll make everyone's life much better.

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