I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Movie Review For March 6, 2015

Rated: R
Stars: Sharito Copley, Dev Patel, Hugh Jackman, Sigourney Weaver
Plot: In the future all crime is policed by robots, but one of those robots is taken and reprogrammed to think and feel for himself.

Clint Says: Don't even bother

Imagine a world in the amazingly far-off future of 2016 where we all have mullets and gangsters wear neon clothing straight out of the 1980's and we make movies that are violent and useless mash-ups of SHORT CIRCUIT and TRANSCENDENCE. If you can imagine that then you've seen CHAPPIE.

This movie may have allowed me to break my record for the most eye rolls and audible exclamations like "are you kidding me" in a two hour period.

This may be the worst performance of Hugh Jackman's career, not because he's bad in the role, but because they gave him absolutely nothing with which to work. His character is painfully one-dimensional and his transformation from good guy to bad guy takes about 4 nanoseconds and it's done with weak motivation.

They have been marketing this film as "from the director of DISTRICT 9" which makes no sense to me, because that was a horrible film as well. Here is a perfect example of how ridiculous this flick is: The really, really bad guy has such a thick accent that even though he's speaking English they had to put in subtitles.

They should have pulled the plug on this epic waste of time.

Rated: R
Stars: Vince Vaughn, Dave Franco, Tom Wilkinson
Plot: Three guys from a small business travel to Europe to close a major deal, but everything goes wrong.

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

If you've seen one Vince Vaughn movie you've seen them all, and this one is no different. He plays a big, goofy, but lovable adult child with no real business sense, but is a member of Mensa when it comes to street smarts. And end the end everyone lives happily ever after except the one guy that was mean to everybody the whole time.

This movie will give you a few laughs and several cringe-worthy moments, but overall it's pretty slow-paced. As far as Vince Vaughn flicks go this is average at best...and that's not saying much.

If you are looking for a mind-numbing night out UNFINISHED BUSINESS will take care of that for you.

Rated: PG
Stars: Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Bill Nighy, Dev Patel
Plot: The hotel owner has his eye set on expansion, but a couple of new guests and his own wedding may put an end to his dreams.

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee, but go see it

Maggie Smith rules the world. That is all.

This is a very pleasant, feel-good film that will leave you feeling satisfied. There is nothing in this film that is earth-shattering or even really unique from other films of this ilk, but it is okay because the cast is what makes this film so enjoyable.

There is a moment in this movie where Maggie Smith conveys so much with a simple look that lasts for all of one second that we are all left in awe of her incredible acting ability. Her wit and snark throughout the film make for great moments of levity.

Judi Dench and Bill Nighy are simply charming together and a joy to watch.

There are times where the film does feel like it runs a bit long and there are a few moments of made up drama, but for the most part it is a well-paced and legitimate movie.


  1. Love your reviews, Clint, but I must disagree on your thumbs down with "District Nine". I thought it clever and groundbreaking (though I've never been a fan of sentient aliens capable of star travel, portrayed as squealing lizards). We're off to see "Marigold" tomorrow, as we thought the first one was excellent.

    1. Let me know how MARIGOLD is, I'm hoping to catch it this weekend as well. I'm glad you liked DISTRICT NINE, that's what makes movies awesome. What one person likes another doesn't. Thanks!