I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Movie Reviews For December 18, 2015: STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS, SISTERS, and ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP

STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS
Rated: PG-13
Release Date: December 18, 2015
Director: J.J. Abrams
Stars: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Harrison Ford, Adam Driver
Plot: A small band of rebels must fight the growing power of The First Order or be destroyed
Trailer

Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now


********NO SPOILERS********
********NOT EVEN INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT'S IN THE FILM*********
********JUST MY REVIEW*********

The first film I ever saw in theaters was STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE (4). From that moment on I was hooked. I was a STAR WARS fan for life. Then came Episodes 1 - 3 and I briefly considered joining the Dark Side. Then about two years ago I heard that J.J. Abrams was going to make a new STAR WARS. I am a huge J.J. Abrams fan, and what he did with STAR TREK was nothing short of amazing, so I waited, agonizingly, for two years until Tuesday December 16, 2015 when I finally got to see EPISODE VII.

Ladies and gentlemen, I bounced in my chair like a giddy little school boy for two hours and ten minutes. I clapped, I cheered, I cried, and I grabbed the people sitting beside me when things went to a J.J.Abrams level of crazy.

Simply put, this movie is spectacular. It is the STAR WARS movie I have waited 30 years to see. It feels like the original trilogy, but done in a modern way. The story is interesting, the characters are compelling and believable.

Dear readers, you are going to completely fall in love with Daisy Ridley in the first ten minutes of the movie. She is going to be a massive Hollywood star.

One word of warning, there are MAJOR plot points that many inconsiderate people out there will begin publishing on social media very soon. You really need to avoid all of that to enjoy this movie thoroughly. I suggest buying tickets to see it as soon as possible and also avoiding the internet as much as your life will allow.

The Force is strong with this one.




SISTERS
Rated: R
Release Date: December 18, 2015
Director: Jason Moore
Stars: Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Ike Barinholtz
Plot: Two middle-aged sisters throw an epic bash at their family home before their parents can sell it
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD


Here's the deal. If you are putting your movie up against STAR WARS 7 you are basically saying, "We know this film isn't great and we are fine with losing." I'm not saying this is a horrible film, but it's one that will easily be forgotten.

Poehler and Fey are very funny throughout this raunchy and f-bomb filled comedy, but the script is exceedingly juvenile and boring. There is nothing in this film that we haven't seen before dozens of times.

If you are looking for a few good R-rated laughs this weekend, SISTERS will most likely satisfy, but don't expect it to be one that you'll be excited to tell your friends you saw.




ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP
Rated: PG
Release Date: December 18, 2015
Director: Walt Becker
Stars: Jason Lee, Bella Thorne
Plot: The chipmunks embark on a road trip to stop Dave from proposing to his girlfriend
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD


This is one of those films that you know exactly what it is going to be before you see it. That said, I thought the physical comedy was funny and everything else was on some level of tolerable. The movie offers nothing that makes it worth seeing in theaters, but it will be worth a rental when it comes out on DVD.

That's my take on it. My five year old daughter, who is a much harsher critic than I could ever be, said this about the movie. "It's waaaayyyyy too long and it's BORING!"

Since the movie is targeted for someone a lot closer to her age than to mine you may want to take her word for it.

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