I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Movie Review For August 21, 2015: AMERICAN ULTRA, HITMAN: AGENT 47, and SINISTER 2

BIG NEWS!!!!! I have a brand new, interactive movie review website that allows you to review the films you've seen and comment on other reviews. Plus it has some other cool features as well.

I'm going to keep this blog going for a while, but eventually everything will lead to the new site.

You can check it out at clintsmoviereviews.com. I'd love it if you take the time to register (it's free) and do your own reviews.

Thank you!


Rated: R
Director: Nima Nourizadeh
Stars: Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Connie Britton, Topher Grace
Plot: A stoner finds out he has an alternate life as a CIA agent when he is subconsciously activated

Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now

First off, this movie isn't for everyone. In fact, I'm sure a majority of people wouldn't like this film. However, if you think the idea of a stoned Jason Bourne demolishing everything in his path through the PULP Fiction universe sounds like it might be the best idea ever, then this movie is for you.

AMERICAN ULTRA is full of violence, gore, insanity, drug use and bad language. It is also spectacularly funny, incredibly well acted, highly compelling and suspenseful throughout. The story is fun and interesting, the twists are not obvious, and behind the whole thing is a killer love story.

I was hooked from the very beginning on this film and stayed riveted all the way through the end. And speaking of the end, this film has possibly the best ending scene of any movie released this year.

If you liked PULP FICTION I think you'll love AMERICAN ULTRA. If you didn't then you should probably stay far away from this flick.

Rated: R
Director: Aleksander Bach
Stars: Rupert Friend, Hannah Ware, Zachary Quinto
Plot: Agent 47 must find Agent 90 and keep her safe from those that would use her to make an army of agents

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

This is a straight up action flick. Meaning it is really nothing but action. The plot is minimal, the character development is all but nonexistent, and the character arcs are flat.

If you are willing to check your brain at the door and ignore the massive plot holes and moments of convenience then you might find this a decent action movie. That said, it's not worth spending theater money to go see it. Your money would be much better spent on AMERICAN ULTRA this weekend.

There isn't anything in this movie that makes it necessary to see it on the big screen. Wait for the DVD.

Rated: R
Director: Ciaran Foy
Stars: James Ransone, Shannyn Sossamon, Robert Daniel Sloan, Dartanian Sloan
Plot: A family is terrorized by the Boogeyman while a PI tries to figure out what is going on

Clint Says: Don't even bother

I am almost positive I could feel IQ points slipping from my mind as I sat through this utter waste of time. I actually got a headache from my eyes rolling so often.

The only thing good about this movie is the end. I don't mean the ending, but the actual end. The part where the credits are at the end. Everything before that is horrible.

The acting (if you can even call it that) is as bad as IT FOLLOWS, the plot is stupid and convoluted, the scares are minimal and most of them are the lame jump-out-and-say-boo scares, and the main characters are so annoying I was actually wishing something bad would happen to them.

This film is 95 minutes long. About 70 minutes of it is boring, about 15 minutes of it is annoying, about 5 minutes of it is slightly suspenseful, and then there are 5 minutes of glorious end credits.

Save your money, and hopefully we will get a good horror flick in October.

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