I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Monday, February 2, 2015

DVD Review For February 3, 2015

Rated: PG-13
Stars: Luke Evans, Sarah Gadon, Dominic Cooper
Plot: Vlad The Impaler defies the Turks and takes desperate measures to protect his family and his followers from war

Clint Says: Only watch this if someone else pays for it

I really wanted this movie to be good. Unfortunately, it's not. The plot is jumpy, the action scene are all shot with shaky camera, and the ending is cringe-worthy.

This film breaks rules that it set up for the world of Dracula for convenience and there are certain things that happen even though there is an obvious and better way of handling the situation.

The most disappointing aspect of this film is that it bases it's story in the reality of Vlad The Impaler, but the movie makes him a sympathetic character. If you know anything about the real Vlad The Impaler, he was anything but sympathetic.

There is some great imagery throughout the film, but it's not enough to make it worth paying for to sit through it.

Rated: R
Stars: Keanu Reeves, Michael Nyqvist, Alfie Allen
Plot: A former hit-man for the Russian mob is pulled back into his old life through a series of unfortunate events.

Clint Says: Rent this DVD as soon as possible

At its base this is a revenge flick, but this one is very well done. The powers that be added a unique world building aspect to this film that makes it much more interesting and compelling than your typical shoot-'em-up.

Keanu Reeves plays a believable if reluctant hit-man tormented by recent events, and his adversaries are not the typical one-dimensional bad guys that litter the screens of lesser films. That said, there are your usual convenient plot holes, bad guy soliloquies instead of just killing the protagonist, and cheesy one-liners, but thankfully they are minor enough not to distract from the overall story.

For the squeamish among you, JOHN WICK probably breaks the record for the most close-distance head shots. But for the rest of you looking for a kick-butt film, JOHN WICK will satisfy.

Rated: PG-13
Stars: Michelle Monaghan, James Marsden, Luke Bracey, Liana Liberato
Plot: Two people that used to be lovers, but haven't seen each other in 20 years, are brought together again and try to reconnect through their complicated relationship.

Clint Says: Only watch this if someone else pays for it

This is yet another eye-rolling train wreck brought to you by Nicholas Sparks. The plot is mostly boring, the acting is mediocre at best, and, no spoilers here, but the ending is such a ridiculously impossible stretch it is even unbelievable for his die-hard fans.

The only good thing about this movie is Gerald McRaney. He is brilliant as always. I feel bad for him that he got suckered into this flick. He will probably just have to consider it a stain on his otherwise incredible career.

I understand why these movies are popular. It's a formula that works, you don't have to expend too much energy in thinking about anything in the movie, there is some great eye candy, and there is always a beautiful love story that lets us escape into what-might-have-been land. That said, this formula is so tired and so cookie-cutter that it doesn't allow the plot or the characters any leeway to make it somewhat interesting, thought-provoking, or even slightly different from the other Nicholas Sparks films.

For the most part, you know what you are getting when you walk in to see this movie, unfortunately what you are getting isn't any good.

Rated: PG-13
Stars: Olivia Cooke, Ana Coto
Plot: After the death of a friend a small group use a Ouija board to try to contact her, but instead they wake an evil spirit.

Clint Says: Only watch this if someone else pays for it

OUIJA is short on scares and long on ridiculousness. The scenes that are supposed to be truly scary are, for the most part, corny and laughable. The only scenes that made the audience I shared this travesty with jump were the contrived scenes where the friends accidentally scare one another. It's a cheap trick that has become old and tired in the horror genre.

This film is full of massive plot holes, incredibly stupid decisions made by the unbearably beautiful teens, and pathetic overacting by the stereotypical ugly old lady.

If you are looking for a scary flick to chill you to the bone this is not the film to do it. You'd be much better off renting something else.

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