Movie Reviews For December 18, 2015: STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS, SISTERS, and ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP

STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS
Rated: PG-13
Release Date: December 18, 2015
Director: J.J. Abrams
Stars: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Harrison Ford, Adam Driver
Plot: A small band of rebels must fight the growing power of The First Order or be destroyed
Trailer

Clint Says: Drop everything and go see this movie now

********NO SPOILERS********
********NOT EVEN INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT'S IN THE FILM*********
********JUST MY REVIEW*********

The first film I ever saw in theaters was STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE (4). From that moment on I was hooked. I was a STAR WARS fan for life. Then came Episodes 1 - 3 and I briefly considered joining the Dark Side. Then about two years ago I heard that J.J. Abrams was going to make a new STAR WARS. I am a huge J.J. Abrams fan, and what he did with STAR TREK was nothing short of amazing, so I waited, agonizingly, for two years until Tuesday December 16, 2015 when I finally got to see EPISODE VII.

Ladies and gentlemen, I bounced in my chair like a giddy little school boy for two hours and ten minutes. I clapped, I cheered, I cried, and I grabbed the people sitting beside me when things went to a J.J.Abrams level of crazy.

Simply put, this movie is spectacular. It is the STAR WARS movie I have waited 30 years to see. It feels like the original trilogy, but done in a modern way. The story is interesting, the characters are compelling and believable.

Dear readers, you are going to completely fall in love with Daisy Ridley in the first ten minutes of the movie. She is going to be a massive Hollywood star.

One word of warning, there are MAJOR plot points that many inconsiderate people out there will begin publishing on social media very soon. You really need to avoid all of that to enjoy this movie thoroughly. I suggest buying tickets to see it as soon as possible and also avoiding the internet as much as your life will allow.

The Force is strong with this one.




SISTERS
Rated: R
Release Date: December 18, 2015
Director: Jason Moore
Stars: Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Ike Barinholtz
Plot: Two middle-aged sisters throw an epic bash at their family home before their parents can sell it
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

Here's the deal. If you are putting your movie up against STAR WARS 7 you are basically saying, "We know this film isn't great and we are fine with losing." I'm not saying this is a horrible film, but it's one that will easily be forgotten.

Poehler and Fey are very funny throughout this raunchy and f-bomb filled comedy, but the script is exceedingly juvenile and boring. There is nothing in this film that we haven't seen before dozens of times.

If you are looking for a few good R-rated laughs this weekend, SISTERS will most likely satisfy, but don't expect it to be one that you'll be excited to tell your friends you saw.




ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP
Rated: PG
Release Date: December 18, 2015
Director: Walt Becker
Stars: Jason Lee, Bella Thorne
Plot: The chipmunks embark on a road trip to stop Dave from proposing to his girlfriend
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

This is one of those films that you know exactly what it is going to be before you see it. That said, I thought the physical comedy was funny and everything else was on some level of tolerable. The movie offers nothing that makes it worth seeing in theaters, but it will be worth a rental when it comes out on DVD.

That's my take on it. My five year old daughter, who is a much harsher critic than I could ever be, said this about the movie. "It's waaaayyyyy too long and it's BORING!"

Since the movie is targeted for someone a lot closer to her age than to mine you may want to take her word for it.

Movie Review For April 17, 2015: PAUL BLART: MALL COP 2, MONKEY KINGDOM, and UNFRIENDED

PAUL BLART: MALL COP 2
Rated: PG
Stars: Kevin James, Raini Rodriguez
Plot: Paul Blart heads to Las Vegas for a vacation, but being a security guard is a full-time job.
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

I can't begin to tell you how excited I was for this movie to finally be released. Not because I wanted to see it, but because I've now seen the trailer about 150 times. Finally I can move on.

If you saw the original PAUL BLART MALL COP, just stop now and be happy. PBMC2 is nothing more than a rehash of the same jokes in the original film, but this movie has less heart and less drama.

There are a few very funny moments, but not enough to make it worth spending theater ticket prices to see it. On top of that, the plot is paper thin, the motivation for the bad guys is ridiculously weak, the love interest makes no sense at all, and there isn't even a decent twist to keep you guessing.

This is one of those films where the trailer is not only better than the actual movie, but you see all you need to know in the trailer.

Save your money on this one and we will all hope that the other cop comedies coming out this summer will be better than this.




UNFRIENDED
Rated: R
Stars: Shelley Hennig, Jacob Wysocki, Renee Olstead, Will Peltz, Moses Jacob Storm
Plot: A group of friends are haunted by an evil spirit while they Skype with each other
Trailer

Clint Says: Don't even bother

This may be the lamest excuse for a horror movie I have ever seen. And that is saying something. But one of the reasons I love movies so much is because everyone has their own opinions and taste. As I was walking out of the theater positive I had just witnessed on of the worst movies of 2015, I saw a fellow movie reviewer and friend and asked him what he thought. He said, "It was brilliant! One of the move unique films I've ever seen." It's fascinating how two people can see the same thing in two completely different ways.

I will say that the premise is quite intriguing, but the execution is lacking greatly. Clocking in at only 82 minutes, this film is mercifully short, but it could have been 20 minutes shorter and still accomplished the same thing. It's slow, boring, barely dramatic and even less scary than it is dramatic.

The actors, for the most part, do a fine job in their roles. But there is only so much a person can handle when it comes to six teens screaming at each other on Skype. It was like I had entered the third level of Whiny People Hell.

Honestly, I think the only person in our theater that was even the slightest bit scared was a toddler. (Side note: What kind of idiot brings a toddler to an R-rated horror flick?!) And even that kid only cried twice.




MONKEY KINGDOM
Rated: G
Stars: Tina Fey
Plot: The story of a young monkey and mother trying to survive in ancient ruins in South Asia
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

These DisneyNature films are always very well done and interesting and MONKEY KINGDOM is no exception, but like the others, there isn't anything in the movie that makes it so compelling that you have to see it in theaters. You will get the same effect and joy by watching this in your own living room four months from now that you would get by seeing it this weekend.

Really, the only reason to see it in theaters is because part of the ticket sales go to helping the monkeys survive. But if that is really something that concerns you, then just donate the full price of a ticket and then wait for the DVD.

As with most DisneyNature films, make sure you stick around through the credits. they show the camera crews working closely with the animals. To me it is the most intriguing part of the whole movie.

This film is safe and enjoyable for the whole family, so if you are looking for an outing this would be a good choice. Just don't expect your kids to walk out of it like they had just seen FROZEN.

DVD Review For December 16, 2014

THE MAZE RUNNER
Rated: PG-13
Stars: Dylan O'Brien, Aml Ameen, Will Poulter
Plot: A group of teens, trapped in a maze, must find their way out and who put them there.
Trailer

Clint Says: Buy this DVD as a gift for the YA lover in your life

This is yet another Hollywood offering to the rabid fans of Young Adult Dystopian action flicks, and overall, it's a pretty good film.

The cast does a great job and the story is interesting and intense. In fact, there were several moments where I caught myself holding my breath due to the intensity of the action or situation on the screen.

As with most movies of this ilk, there are a few eye-rolling moments and a couple of minor plot holes, but overall the movie stands up well.

Young Adult fans will enjoy this film as will fans of sci-fi thrillers. I saw it with several uber YA fans and all of them thought the movie was great.




TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
Rated: PG-13
Stars: Megan Fox, Will Arnett
Plot: The four turtle brothers must work together to bring down the criminal rule of Shredder.
Trailer

Clint Says: If you have to watch it, make someone else rent it

This is one of this reboots that nobody asked for, but Hollywood made it anyway. The turtles are creepy, the story is tired, Megan Fox still can't act, and the action scenes move and jump so fast it's hard to tell what is going on.

There are several things that happen that are way too coincidental or convenient giving the audience ample opportunities to eye roll.

It's also a film that misses its core audience. The older fans are going to be turned off by the sheer stupidity of the film and it is too intense for the under 8 crowd.

This film is significantly less cheesy than the 1990 version, but it's still not worth seeing.




THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU
Rated: R
Stars: Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Adam Driver, Jane Fonda, Corey Stoll
Plot: A mother and her four grown children return home to grieve the death of their husband and father.
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for it to stream on Netflix

This is one of those films where the teaser trailer lies to you. It looks like a comedy with a little bit of heart-warming gooeyness thrown in for good measure. In reality, this is a sad, dark, weird, boring movie.

It's somewhat like THE BIG CHILL, only the Dysfunctional Family Feud version.

If I wanted to see a dysfunctional family peck at each other I'd just go home. If I have to see it on the big screen it should at least be funny. Unfortunately, almost all of the funny moments in the movie are revealed in the trailer. And in context, some of those moments aren't all that funny.

I stayed for the whole movie, but mentally I said THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU about 30 minutes into it. Save your money on this one.



THE SKELETON TWINS
Rated: R
Stars: Bill Hader, Kristen Wiig, Luke Wilson
Plot: Twins try to reconnect with one another after they both almost die on the same day.
Trailer

Clint Says: I haven't seen it yet, but I hear really good things about it

I am anxiously awaiting this DVD because I was unable to see it while it was in theaters. I've heard a lot of good things about this film and it is up for several awards.

If you have already seen it, please let us all know what you thought about it in the comments section below.

Movie Review For September 19, 2014

A WALK AMONG THE TOMBSTONES
Rated: R
Stars: Liam Neeson, Astro, David Harbour
Plot: A retired cop turned illegal P.I. is tasked with finding out who is killing all of the wives and girlfriends of New York's drug dealers.
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

This is the kind of film that shows off Liam Neeson's talent in the best way. I would describe this movie as a cross between SILENCE OF THE LAMBS and THE UNTOUCHABLES. It's not as good as either of those classic films, but it is good enough to hold its own.

It is highly suspenseful and thrilling, and while it is somewhat lacking in mystery it makes up for it with a compelling story and great character depth.

The story is set in 1999 so most moviegoers will enjoy the references to Y2K and old cell phones.

If you like police procedural thrillers check out this movie this week.



THE MAZE RUNNER
Rated: PG-13
Stars: Dylan O'Brien, Aml Ameen, Will Poulter
Plot: A group of teens, trapped in a maze, must find their way out and who put them there.
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

This is yet another Hollywood offering to the rabid fans of Young Adult Dystopian action flicks, and overall, it's a pretty good film.

The cast does a great job and the story is interesting and intense. In fact, there were several moments where I caught myself holding my breath due to the intensity of the action or situation on the screen.

As with most movies of this ilk, there are a few eye-rolling moments and a couple of minor plot holes, but overall the movie stands up well.

Young Adult fans will enjoy this film as will fans of sci-fi thrillers. I saw it with several uber YA fans and all of them thought the movie was great.



THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU
Rated: R
Stars: Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Adam Driver, Jane Fonda, Corey Stoll
Plot: A mother and her four grown children return home to grieve the death of their husband and father.
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

This is one of those films where the teaser trailer lies to you. It looks like a comedy with a little bit of heart-warming gooeyness thrown in for good measure. In reality, this is a sad, dark, weird, boring movie.

It's somewhat like THE BIG CHILL, only the Dysfunctional Family Feud version.

If I wanted to see a dysfunctional family peck at each other I'd just go home. If I have to see it on the big screen it should at least be funny. Unfortunately almost all of the funny moments in the movie are revealed in the trailer. And in context, some of those moments aren't all that funny.

I stayed for the whole movie, but mentally I said THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU about 30 minutes into it. Save your money on this one.

DVD Review for August 12, 2014

BEARS
Rated - G
Stars: John C. Reilly
Plot: Cameras follow a family of Alaskan bears as the young learn how to survive.
Trailer

Clint Says: Rent this one and enjoy with the whole family

Disney Nature brings their A-game once again with BEARS. It is a fun and encouraging story with incredible cinematography. John C. Reilly does a great job narrating this film. He has a great ability to add to the mood of the moment with his voice.

The true stars of this film are the camera crews that obviously worked long hours to catch hundreds of hours of footage in order for the rest of the crew to put together a compelling story. Make sure you stick around through the credits to see some of the camera crews in action.




NEIGHBORS
Rated - R
Stars: Zac Efron, Seth Rogen, Rose Byrne
Plot: A fraternity moves in next door to a married couple with a young child. Soon their lifestyles clash in an epic battle of wills.
Trailer

Clint Says: Buy this DVD, but keep it out of the reach of the kids

NEIGHBORS is seriously funny. It is also seriously raunchy. It is also a great movie. If you can handle the raunch you will be entertained the entire time and you will laugh more in two hours than you've laughed in the last month.

Rogen and Byrne's chemistry is fun to watch and their dialogue is hysterical. Efron plays a perfect frat boy and, if a shirtless Zac is your thing, you won't be disappointed.

It's nice to see Rogen and Efron sticking to their roots, but still growing with the kind of characters we've grown to love and expect out of them.




A HAUNTED HOUSE 2
Rated - R
Stars: Marlon Wayans, Jaime Pressly
Plot: Malcolm has finally moved on from his possessed ex, but strange things start happening when his new girlfriend and her kids move in.
Trailer

Clint Says: Don't even bother

If you saw the first one, you've already seen this film. And believe it or not, this flick is actually worse than the first one.

It's full of the same sex and racial jokes that are slightly funny at best, but most of the time they are just tired. Spend your money on something better than this junk.




MUPPETS MOST WANTED
Rated - PG
Stars: Ricky Gervais, Ty Burrell, Tina Fey
Plot: During a world tour Kermit and the gang get mixed up in a jewelry heist orchestrated by a Kermit look alike.
Trailer

Clint Says: It's worth a rental...once

MUPPETS MOST WANTED is exactly what you expect from a Muppet movie. Not much of a plot, not overly funny, but a lot of good music, good cameos by several of Hollywood’s hottest stars, and enough humor to make the movie enjoyable for kids and tolerable for adults.

Movie Review for March 21, 2014

DIVERGENT
Rated PG-13
Stars: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Cate Winslet
Plot: Post-war Chicago's inhabitants are divided into five groups, each assigned with a specific task to help the others. Tris, a Divergent that doesn't fit into the system, finds herself on the run from a sinister government that wants all Divergents dead.
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters

DIVERGENT is a perfect example of a good book being made into a very good movie. I would put it on par with THE HUNGER GAMES and significantly better than THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES. It has great moments of suspense and intensity, the world building is top notch, and Tris's arc is played out very well.

If I had to say anything bad about the movie it's that Peter, Will and Al look so similar, if you didn't read the book you may have trouble telling them apart. Also, there are a couple of plot holes that will drive detail-oriented viewers crazy.

Fans of the book will really enjoy the movie as will fans of the dystopian young adult genre. Adults should not skip this movie thinking it's just another teen movie, it is definitely worth a watch.

FUN FACT: Be on the lookout for a Veronica Roth cameo. She shows up as a Dauntless.


MUPPETS MOST WANTED
Rated PG
Stars: Kermit The Frog, Miss Piggy, Tina Fey, Ricky Gervais, Ty Burrell
Plot: During a world tour Kermit and the gang get mixed up in a jewelry heist orchestrated by a Kermit look alike.
Trailer

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

MUPPETS MOST WANTED is exactly what you expect from a Muppet movie. Not much of a plot, not overly funny, but a lot of good music, good cameos by several of Hollywood’s hottest stars, and enough humor to make the movie enjoyable for kids and tolerable for adults.

 If you’ve got the money to spend at the theater, this would be a good treat for the younger kids, but you won’t miss out on anything if you just wait for the DVD.