SEVENTH SON
Rated: PG-13
Stars: Ben Barnes, Julianne Moore, Jeff Bridges
Plot: A mystic that fights dark magic takes on a new apprentice just as the queen witch begins her return to power.
Trailer
Clint Says: If you must see this, let somebody else rent it
When this was on the big screen, Julianne Moore had two films in theaters that weekend. One she deserved an Oscar for (STILL ALICE) and then there was this one. I hope she got paid a lot of money to be in this, because that is the only thing that would make it worth it.
This film lacks character development, a compelling story, and good effects. Basically, that leaves you with Jeff Bridges. And, unfortunately, his chosen speech pattern for this film is so annoying that you are desperate for him to stop talking about 5 minutes into the movie.
There are a few amazing effects and the scenery is beautiful, but that is all too little too late.
THE LOFT
Rated: R
Stars: James Marsden, Eric Stonestreet, Wentworth Miller, Karl Urban
Plot: Five married men buy a secret loft together to have affairs, but trouble arises when they find a dead woman there.
Trailer
Clint Says: Don't even bother
THE LOFT is one of those films that looks interesting based on the trailer, but the actual movie is horrible. The acting is embarrassingly bad, the dialogue is worse, and the mystery and suspense aren't even worth the effort of an eye roll.
At best, this movie feels like a long soap opera episode, but it's not even that good. The effects are so poorly done and there are so many blatant continuity errors that you can't help but notice how little the director cared about this film.
Avoid THE LOFT like you would an STD.
I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.
Showing posts with label The Loft. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Loft. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Movie Review For January 30, 2015
PROJECT ALMANAC
Rated: PG-13
Stars: Amy Landecker, Sofia Black-D'Elia, Johnny Weston
Plot: A group of teens build and use a time machine, but things start happening beyond their control
Trailer
Clint Says: Wait for the DVD
PROJECT ALMANAC is an okay film. It's not horrible, but it's not great either. It is a "found footage" style movie, but it really should not have been. There are several scenes in the movie where there is no way any of the kids would have been filming.
The movie has several large plot holes and, for all of the cool effects, it really doesn't go anywhere new and exciting. There are also several scenes that are straight rip-offs from classic 80s and 90s movies. After the third or fourth copied scene it becomes really tedious.
The film clocks in at just over 1 1/2 hours, but it feels significantly longer than that.
If you do want to spend the money to see this in theaters you won't feel like you got ripped off, but you also won't feel anything earth-shattering either.
BLACK OR WHITE
Rated: PG-13
Stars: Kevin Costner, Octavia Spencer
Plot: A single grandfather fights a custody battle for the granddaughter he has helped raise.
Trailer
Clint Says: Wait for the DVD
I can't believe I'm about to say this, but Kevin Costner gives a fine performance in this movie while Octavia Spencer's character is annoyingly obnoxious. That said, I wish the movie itself would have been better.
It's a slow-paced, snoozer that you know how it is going to end after the first 10 minutes. It's basically a short set-up and then 105 minutes of repeat filler. It's the kind of movie you see and then when it comes out on DVD you vaguely remember seeing it before.
THE LOFT
Rated: R
Stars: James Marsden, Eric Stonestreet, Wentworth Miller, Karl Urban
Plot: Five married men buy a secret loft together to have affairs, but trouble arises when they find a dead woman there.
Trailer
Clint Says: Don't even bother
THE LOFT is one of those films that looks interesting based on the trailer, but the actual movie is horrible. The acting is embarrassingly bad, the dialogue is worse, and the mystery and suspense aren't even worth the effort of an eye roll.
At best, this movie feels like a long soap opera episode, but it's not even that good. The effects are so poorly done and there are so many blatant continuity errors that you can't help but notice how little the director cared about this film.
Avoid THE LOFT like you would an STD.
Rated: PG-13
Stars: Amy Landecker, Sofia Black-D'Elia, Johnny Weston
Plot: A group of teens build and use a time machine, but things start happening beyond their control
Trailer
Clint Says: Wait for the DVD
PROJECT ALMANAC is an okay film. It's not horrible, but it's not great either. It is a "found footage" style movie, but it really should not have been. There are several scenes in the movie where there is no way any of the kids would have been filming.
The movie has several large plot holes and, for all of the cool effects, it really doesn't go anywhere new and exciting. There are also several scenes that are straight rip-offs from classic 80s and 90s movies. After the third or fourth copied scene it becomes really tedious.
The film clocks in at just over 1 1/2 hours, but it feels significantly longer than that.
If you do want to spend the money to see this in theaters you won't feel like you got ripped off, but you also won't feel anything earth-shattering either.
BLACK OR WHITE
Rated: PG-13
Stars: Kevin Costner, Octavia Spencer
Plot: A single grandfather fights a custody battle for the granddaughter he has helped raise.
Trailer
Clint Says: Wait for the DVD
I can't believe I'm about to say this, but Kevin Costner gives a fine performance in this movie while Octavia Spencer's character is annoyingly obnoxious. That said, I wish the movie itself would have been better.
It's a slow-paced, snoozer that you know how it is going to end after the first 10 minutes. It's basically a short set-up and then 105 minutes of repeat filler. It's the kind of movie you see and then when it comes out on DVD you vaguely remember seeing it before.
THE LOFT
Rated: R
Stars: James Marsden, Eric Stonestreet, Wentworth Miller, Karl Urban
Plot: Five married men buy a secret loft together to have affairs, but trouble arises when they find a dead woman there.
Trailer
Clint Says: Don't even bother
THE LOFT is one of those films that looks interesting based on the trailer, but the actual movie is horrible. The acting is embarrassingly bad, the dialogue is worse, and the mystery and suspense aren't even worth the effort of an eye roll.
At best, this movie feels like a long soap opera episode, but it's not even that good. The effects are so poorly done and there are so many blatant continuity errors that you can't help but notice how little the director cared about this film.
Avoid THE LOFT like you would an STD.
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