I watch crappy movies so you don't have to.

Showing posts with label Kate Winslet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kate Winslet. Show all posts

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Movie Reviews for October 23, 2015: STEVE JOBS, JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS, THE LAST WITCH HUNTER, and ROCK THE KASBAH

STEVE JOBS
Rated: R
Release Date: October 23, 2015
Director: Danny Boyle
Stars: Michael Fassbender, Kate Winslet, Seth Rogen, Jeff Daniels
Plot: A behind-the-scenes look at the man that was Steve Jobs
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait until after opening weekend, but see this in theaters


When I first heard that the concept for this film was to show Steve Jobs behind the scenes of three of his product launches I was nervous that it was going to be quite a boring film. To my relief, this film is anything but boring. In fact, it is very intense and exciting all the way through. 

Fassbender and Winslet have extraordinary chemistry that allows for truly captivating banter between them. Seth Rogen does a great job in his nerdtastic portrayal of Woz. And Jeff Daniels proves once again that he can make a lot out of very little. 

Just by the nature of the film one can easily gather that a lot of the events and conflicts are fictionalized, but even so it is very well done. I wouldn't go so far as to say that the information in the movie is all true to Steve Jobs and the people around him, but I would bet that it is a mostly accurate representation. 

If you like to think while you are being entertained you will really enjoy STEVE JOBS. 




JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS
Rated: PG
Release Date: October 23, 2015
Director: Jon M. Chu
Stars: Aubrey Peeples, Juliette Lewis, Ryan Guzman, Molly Ringwald
Plot: Four sisters hit the big time and must figure out how to stay together in the spotlight while solving a mystery
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and make someone else rent it 


This film may crack my Ten Worst Films of 2015, although we still have two months left for it to be knocked out of that dubious honor. I can't even begin to tell you how cheesy and lame this film is. The dialogue is painful, the lip syncing doesn't match the lyrics, they pretend to play one instrument while we hear something different, and it's almost two hours long. 

Fans of the JATH cartoon will be annoyed because the film strays wildly from the story you know. Ironically, the 1980's TV show is more forward-thinking and pro-woman than the movie, the Misfits aren't in the movie until the very end, and Synergy is totally lame compared to the Synergy of the cartoon. 

Really, the only people that might like this film are girls between 8 and 12. For them it will be a fun film with some positive and empowering messages. For everyone else you'll see those empowering moments as manipulative and forced. 

If you are unlucky enough to have to see this movie you will be treated to about five minutes of awesome. Be on the lookout for some epic cameos, Brad the Valet, and the uber fan security guard. They at least make some of this film tolerable. 

Also, Kimber may be the most unloved and under appreciated girl in the history of movies. You'll, unfortunately, need to see the film to figure out why. 

#KimberNeedsLoveToo





THE LAST WITCH HUNTER
Rated: PG-13
Release Date: October 23, 2015
Director: Breck Eisner
Stars: Vin Diesel, Rose Leslie
Plot: Kaulder is the only thing standing between humans and the witches intent on destroying them\

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD


This is the kind of film where you hope it will be smart and unique, but you go in expecting it to be just another typical action flick with witches. Unfortunately, it lives up only to the expectations and not the hopes. 

The setup for this film give the potential for something special, but ultimately there is nothing about this film that is extraordinary or compelling. It moves slow, the action scenes are muddled and hard to follow, and if you are a HARRY POTTER fan you'll quickly catch on that the Queen Witch is basically Voldemort. (Horcruxes for the almost win).

There are a couple of exciting elements to the film, but nothing that is worth spending the money to see it in theaters. Just wait for the DVD, and when you do finally see it, check your brain at the door. because if you think too much you'll really hate this movie.





ROCK THE KASBAH
Rated: R
Release Date: October 23, 2015
Director: Barry Levinson
Stars: Bill Murray, Kate Hudson, Zooey Deschanel, Bruce Willis
Plot: A music manager finds an unlikely singer in an unlikely place and tries to make her a star

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD


Typically when you hear the name Bill Murray you associate that with comedy. On some level ROCK THE KASBAH is a comedy, but it is so much more than that. 

It isn't a great film by any means, however it is a very good film. It is heartwarming, courageous, inspiring, and compelling. 


If you are looking for a side - splitting laugh fest this is not your movie. But if you want to see a movie that will make you smile and think about life in a different way, ROCK THE KASBAH is a great choice.






Tuesday, April 29, 2014

DVD Review for April 29, 2014

LABOR DAY
PG-13
Stars: Kate Winslet, Josh Brolin
Plot: An escaped convict hides in the house of a single mother and her son for a long weekend hoping to elude the police and make a break for the border.
Trailer

Clint Says: Rent it if you have nothing better to do


It's easy to see why this movie was released in theaters in January. It really has nothing to offer the audience for the first 90 minutes of the movie. Josh Brolin plays a compelling anti-hero, but the script doesn't give him much with which to work. LABOR DAY is full of contrived suspense and the fact that the main characters fall madly into lifelong love over the course of a long weekend makes the This-Feels-Fake Meter move a lot.

If you're looking for a slow-moving, slightly suspenseful love story you may like this movie, but chances are you'll just be disappointed and wanting a large slice of homemade peach pie.



THE LEGEND OF HERCULES
PG-13
Stars: Kellan Lutz, Gaia Weiss
Plot: The story of Hercules from shunned child to strong demi-god.
Trailer

Clint Says: If you have to see this, make someone else rent it



Can somebody please make a great movie of the story Hercules? This movie misses the mark in every way possible. First off, he's a demi-god with super-human powers and he only uses them twice. What!? Second, there are plot holes you could drive a truck through. Third, the graphics (which most of this movie is done in CGI) look like they were done in 1998. Fourth, the 3D version uses gimmicky 3D tricks to make the movie look more intense, but audiences are over that now. Finally, I thought that dialogue was important to a movie, I guess the execs on this film disagree with me.

The only audience that will find this movie enjoyable are males between 17 and 22. Everyone else shouldn't bother.


GIMME SHELTER
PG-13
Stars: Vanessa Hudgens, Rosario Dawson, Brendan Fraser
Plot: A teen girl grows up between an abusive mom and a neglectful foster care system. When she finds herself pregnant she goes against everyone's advise and decides to keep her baby.
Trailer

Clint Says: Buy this DVD


This, based on a true story film, is very difficult to watch, but it is amazing and powerful. Hollywood critics are panning this movie, but audiences love it. Hudgens and Dawson both give the best performances of their careers. If this movie weren't so anti-Hollywood in the decisions made by the main character I believe it would have been released in December and been up for several awards.

Movies like this should be supported by all of us, but just know that it is a tough film with a tough subject matter.



DEVIL'S DUE
R
Stars: Allison Miller, Zach Gilford
Plot: An expecting newlywed couple begins to expect dark things may have happened the night they can't remember from their honeymoon.
Trailer

Clint Says: Don't even bother


This movie is a complete waste of time. Even people that love all horror flicks thought this one was stupid.  If you want to see the best thing this movie had to offer, watch this video of the devil baby prank they did to market this film.

Friday, January 31, 2014

Movie Review for January 31, 2014

LABOR DAY
Rated PG-13
Stars: Kate Winslet, Josh Brolin
Plot: An escaped convict hides in the home of a shut-in mom and her teen son. While the police search for him, he and the mom fall in love.
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD


It's easy to see why this movie was released in January. It really has nothing to offer the audience for the first 90 minutes of the movie. Josh Brolin plays a compelling anti-hero, but the script doesn't give him much with which to work. LABOR DAY is full of contrived suspense and the fact that the main characters fall madly into lifelong love over the course of a long weekend makes the This-Feels-Fake Meter move a lot.

If you're looking for a slow-moving, slightly suspenseful love story you may like this movie, but chances are you'll walk out disappointed and wanting a large slice of homemade peach pie.


THAT AWKWARD MOMENT
Rated R
Stars: Zac Efron, Michael B. Jordan, Miles Teller
Plot: Three friends make a pact to stay out of deep relationships until one of them is ready to move forward.
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT is basically one big awkward moment because it's a romantic comedy for guys. It follows the same tried and true formula for RomComs, but is full of raunchy jokes and typical 20-something guy behavior. The movie has a few good laughs and a couple of horrifically awkward moments, but there isn't an audience that is going to like this movie in it's entirety.