Movie Review For July 1, 2015: MAGIC MIKE XXL and TERMINATOR: GENISYS

MAGIC MIKE XXL

Rated: R

Stars: Channing Tatum, Joe Manganiello, Matt Bomer, Amber Heard

Plot: A group of male strippers go on one last road trip...to a stripper convention.

Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD and make someone else rent it

Have you ever seen a movie with a barely-there plot, painful dialogue, amateur editing, actors that just mail in their roles, and pathetic directing? Well, if you haven't, go check out MAGIC MIKE XXL and you'll see all of that and more. 

This movie looks and feels like they knew that no matter how bad the movie is they would still make money off of it. They are probably right, but it's a shame that they didn't even try to make a good movie. 

I saw this movie with two lovely ladies, one of them loved the first one and hated this one. The other was totally fine with this being a crap flick as long as she got a good dose of abs. I just wanted the pain to end.

Also, I feel that I should give some sort of a heads up on this movie...This is not Hollywood glamorized sexy, smooth dancing guys. This is hard core, grind-it-out, strip club stripping. 

There is one, and only one, good reason to see this movie. If you do you will never look at Michael Strahan the same. 

TERMINATOR: GENYSIS

Rated: PG-13

Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emilia Clarke, Jason Clarke, Jai Courtney

Plot: John Connor sends a soldier back in time to protect his mother from a new Terminator, but the game changes when he gets there

Trailer

Clint Says: Save some money and see a matinee

This is a movie that should have never been made. They should have left this franchise alone. That said, GENYSIS isn't all that bad of a movie. It's a pretty fun popcorn flick that has enough suspense and intrigue to keep the casual movie-goer engaged and happy. 

There is nothing spectacular in this film that makes it worth spending the money to see it in theaters,  so unless you are just looking for a fun, turn-the-brain-off night out then you'd be better off just waiting for the DVD. 

For fans of the original films this one will annoy you on several levels. Many of which are related to the main characters. It's probably best if you just pretend this movie never existed. 

DVD Review For December 2, 2014

DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES
Rated: PG-13
Stars: Gary Oldman, Keri Russell, Jason Clarke
Plot: Humans and apes are on the brink of war for control of the earth as the apes get stronger and the humans get weaker.
Trailer

Clint Says: Rent this when you have a chance

Like this first in this series, RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES, this movie does an exceptional job at showing us the emotion of the apes, but unlike its predecessor, DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES falls flat at the end.

This film has a Shakespearean vibe to it in that most of the plot centers around betrayal and misunderstandings. However the director chose to leave the ending a little too open for a third installment of the franchise, (currently unnamed, but due out in 2016). It almost feels like they wanted to end the movie well, but to do so would have meant a three hour long movie so they chose relative brevity (two hours and ten minutes) over a solid ending.

If you liked RISE you'll be fine with DAWN, but it is in no way better than the first. There is nothing that happens in this movie that makes it worthy of buying the DVD, just rent it and you'll be satisfied.

Hopefully the third film will regain the glory of the first one.



THE HUNDRED-FOOT JOURNEY
Rated: PG
Stars: Hellen Mirren, Om Puri, Manish Dayal
Plot: Two rival restaurant owners clash when the son of one goes to work for the other.
Trailer

Clint Says: Rent this movie this week

This movie is straight up food porn for foodies. If you like slow-motion egg beating montages and people eating ripe, juicy fruits and vegetables as their eyes roll back in their heads, this is the movie for you.

I would be remiss if I didn't try to use as many food analogies as possible while reviewing this film so here we go...

While I did like this movie there were ingredients (1) that were missing making it rather bland to the palate (2). I wish the director had chosen to spice things up (3) a bit with more conflict between the characters rather than figuratively throwing it in a microwave (4) to resolve it quickly.

The parallel love stories do heat up (5) well as the movie progresses and the story is intriguing. Although this is not a children's movie at all it is clean enough to take any little foodies in your family. THE HUNDRED-FOOT JOURNEY is a respectable palate cleanse (6) for everyone.



AS ABOVE SO BELOW
Rated: R
Stars: Perdita Weeks, Ben Feldman, Edwin Hodge
Plot: Dark secrets are revealed in the catacombs below Paris.
Trailer

Clint Says: Rent this DVD if you've already seen everything else

This is about as basic and formulaic as you can get in the found-footage horror genre. The premise is quite interesting and the execution is tolerable, but the only real scary parts of this film are the jump-out-and-yell-boo moments. The rest of the movie is somewhat suspenseful, but by no means scary.

As with most horror flicks, there are several huge plot holes and missing or non-explained elements throughout the film that will drive some moviegoers crazy. However, the typical horror film fan will find this movie to be a decent horror flick with enough scares to raise heart rates for 90 minutes.

If you aren't into horror films this one will either bore you or give you lots of time to study the ceiling with all the eye rolling you will be doing.

Personally, I kept waiting for Harry Potter to show up somewhere in the catacombs under Paris. (You'll have to see the movie to understand why).

Movie Review for July 11, 2014

DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES
Rated - PG-13
Stars: Gary Oldman, Keri Russell, Jason Clarke
Plot: Humans and apes are on the brink of war for control of the earth as the apes get stronger and the humans get weaker.
Trailer

Clint Says: Wait for the DVD

Like this first in this series, RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES, this movie does an exceptional job at showing us the emotion of the apes, but unlike its predecessor, DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES falls flat at the end.

This film has a Shakespearean vibe to it in that most of the plot centers around betrayal and misunderstandings. However the director chose to leave the ending a little too open for a third installment of the franchise, (currently unnamed, but due out in 2016). It almost feels like they wanted to end the movie well, but to do so would have meant a three hour long movie so they chose relative brevity (two hours and ten minutes) over a solid ending.

If you liked RISE you'll be fine with DAWN, but it is in no way better than the first. There is nothing that happens in this movie that makes it necessary for you to spend the money to see it on the big screen. Just wait for the DVD and you'll be satisfied.

Hopefully the third film will regain the glory of the first one.